Black Man's Rant: Why I Don't Date Black Women
Written by A Guest Blogger (we are just the outlet!!!)
They Say, “The Blacker the Berry, the Sweeter the Juice.” Wait, I don’t even like berries.
The Blacker The Berry The Sweeter The Juice: Wait I Don't Even Like Berries
Preface: My mother is going to kill me.
Here lately I’ve been getting in arguments with my sistas about their hair. A few things:
- I hate when women wrap their hair before bed. Hence, why I have two silk pillows on my bed, “just in case, they don’t want to get their hair messed up, [messing] with a [brother]” as Katt W. said.
- I hate when some Black woman asks me what I think of her hair when she chops it off and goes, Happy I’m Nappy natural. I think the same thing each time, “That was stupid. (In the “That was easy” voice)
- I hate the argument that Black women have problems working out because they sweat their hair out. I believe there are plenty of Black women who manage to work out and not sweat their hair out, that’s why they are in shape and others aren’t.
And then suddenly it hit me, it’s been a while since I talked to a woman with Black hair. And you know what? Seriously, just one day I just lost the urge to talk to Black women at all. I don’t think I’ve ever said, I’m done talking to Black women, I think one day I just said to myself, I’ve had enough I’m no longer limiting myself to a group of women just because they are Black. And this translated into me just not meeting or interacting with them on a romantic level anymore.
This was not spontaneous, it was gradual in nature. I think back on life and I’ve always had a thing for “redbone” or “high yella” women. In fact, the Summer of 2003 joke about me used to be that I like them, “light, bright and damn there white” or “oh yeah, lighter than that.” The last Black girl that I seriously dated was a “redbone” with hazel eyes. Sooner or later I was bound to just cross on over.
I never was the type to date solely in my race, my girlfriend in middle school was white. Oh and let’s be clear, she wasn’t a white girl from around the way, she was white. I went to a predominantly white school for college, I was in a predominantly white major, and I hung around a pretty diverse group of people. Naturally, I had sex with white women. It was never a big deal for me. And it wasn’t just white women, because it was Latina sisters too. Being from DC, once going to NY, I discovered different nationalities of Latinas, such as, Dominicans and Puerto Ricans. But still, “light, bright, and damn there white.”
So after a few bad experiences with Black women in DC after school, I just gave up on being the token Black guy. Yes, the token Black guy, a guy who is predisposed to only Black women for fear of persecution. And so I’ve now become a Black man who believes he has a great chance of never dating a Black woman again, unless she’s mixed.
I know the readers would like to know why, and I’ll tell you… I’ve noticed a REAL big difference when in relationships and dealings with white women.
I do not have to carry the race with my interactions with white women. With Black women, you are representing for the whole race and gender of Black men. You deal with the baggage of every Black girl lost. And you’re just not trying to hear all that. I don’t want to deal with how Black men are always cheating and leaving some Black women for a White woman. I do not need to hear about how some Black man is always skipping out on his responsibilities. I do not need to hear about how Black women have carried the race for so long, that it’s time that Black men stepped up to the plate. I don’t need to hear that Black men ain’t sh*t. Excuse my French. Quite frankly, I’m not those men, so don’t compare me to them.
I’m not finished with this topic. When I make a mistake, I now get the punishment of a repeat offender. It’s like if I cheat on a Black woman, because I cheated on a woman, I get punished for every other Black man who cheated and got caught or didn’t get caught. No, this is the present, I’ve made a mistake, and this may be my first mistake and I need to be able to make mistakes or this won’t go anywhere whatsoever. Lastly, when she makes a mistake, she can write it off by comparing it to the things that Black men have done in the past.
There’s a sense of entitlements that should not exist. One of the things that caused me to get extremely frustrated with dating Black women was the sense of entitlement to dictating the way everything should go, as if they were owed something. They didn’t have to earn anything. When I was dating outside of Black women, that was different. I’ll give you two examples; Latina women will cook for you, Black women will tell you, “I ain’t your mother.” White women will chill in the house when you’re broke, Black women will tell you the second you decline going out, “How come we don’t ever go anywhere?!”
I know there are exceptions to the rule. But I’m very adamant about saying, that we are not judged by our inconsistencies, but by our consistencies. And if the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception. I’ve been consistently happier dating white and Latina women than I have been dating Black women. I actually felt like I could be myself, I wasn’t living up to some norm or standard that I didn’t have any part in creating. Quite frankly, I haven’t been in a setting where it was predominantly Black since the sixth grade, it only makes sense that I need someone who understands that I’m multi-faceted. No, I’m not a Black man who doesn’t know he’s Black, I’m a Black man who knows he’s Black enough to not need to see a Black woman everyday to know that he’s Black. I’m a Black man who’s strong enough to say, as it stands for me, I just don’t think I’m compatible with most Black women.
Am I saying that I will never date a Black woman again? No, I’m merely saying it’s unlikely.
Reader’s Note: Through out this blog you may have noticed that I capitalize the “B” in Black, but do not do the same for the term white. I do this because Black is a race in America that represents a group of people who do cannot and do not trace their roots back to anything but Black. While white is a race, it is a placeholder for many people who can trace their roots back to a nationality but choose to use the term white to distinguish themselves from Black people.
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Tags: black man's rant, black women, guest bloggers, nappy hair, natural hair, non stop radio, white women, why i dont date black women
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Comments (131)
JRiddles
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I probably wouldn’t want to date him anyway. My nappy hair and I have preferences as well, but his reasoning didn’t sit too well with me.
The good part is that I will probably never meet this ignorant fool.
I wonder if his mother ties her hair down at night.
Everyone is entitled to like what he/she likes, but I felt like he was a bit offensive and insensitive.
I could go on and on…
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Mark Daniels
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Lol. I don’t even like berrys
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Educated Black Woman.
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Reading such ignorant banter against women who look like your mother is disgusting. Is that the representation that you had in your home growing up? Is that all you think of us? So sad… To each his own, however, you contradict yourself many times in this article. You grew up in diversity and are multifaceted so we should have figured you would cross over? What exactly are you crossing over too? And if you are indeed so diversified then you should be able to appreciate all backgrounds and not be exclusive of one or the other. It is fine that you choose to only date white women because the educated black women I know, wouldn’t bother with you anyway. As far as you footnote on why you capitalized black not white, I will only say learn YOUR history. Then you will understand why BLACK people who cannot trace their roots back to a specific nationality or group of people where displaced by the hands of those you clearly glorify. Finally, your mother is probably more sad than anything for the discriminatory attitude a child she birthed has acquired. I pray my future sons will love themselves more than you clearly do. If you really want to have a successful relationship, you should try dealing with the inner insecurities that you obviously have.
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radiotherahim
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please keep in mind this article was written by a GUEST BLOGGER!!!
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...Bored...
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Dude, do what you want. Who cares who you date?
I’m sure no Black woman is losing sleep at the fact that she doesn’t have you to court her.
Who you date is your choice and yours alone…and you have the right to those decisions without the judgment of others.
But seriously…you need to deal with your animosity and frustration. Seriously.
Because Black women, as a people, have done nothing to you. And your anger is profound…and unhealthy. And it’s not just about someone wearing a hair scarf or asking you to take them out when you were broke. Seriously.
More interesting to me, a Black woman, is the pathological mindset that you have just put on display for everyone to see… You might wanna handle that, my friend.
Peace
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Black Beauty
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Ok, I have not even read the whole blog yet. But guy you are contradicting your self. You mentioned you don’t like being compared to the negative black men. Well sir, you are comparing ALL black women to negative black women you’ve encountered.
Not all BLACK WOMEN are as the ones you’ve described. Yes I agree women should not compare all black men to the negative brothers they’ve encountered, but it does you no justice to do the same.
I am totally for dating outside of the race, for I will do it too. Whomever God brings my way. But do not stereotype us black women as ungrateful and mad because you decline going out for lack of funds.
Women like myself would say “oh its ok honey I can pay for us” OR that’s perfectly fine if we stay in the house watch tv and do whatever.
In turn, I’m sure you’re a very intelligent, intellectual man and college educated as you’ve stated. You should know to thoroughly research before stating your proposals as though they are certain.
This is all I have to say, now I will continue reading on.
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Black Beauty
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To the guest blogger, not the person who posted the blog….
Yes I wrap my hair every night before bed. It is a way I keep my hair straight and beautiful as black men, white men spanish men all men adore. So do not complain about black women and their nappy hair b/c they’re trying to please men like you . Men who are dissatisfied that women wrap their hair to keep it tamed.
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Love of Poetry
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I actually appreciated what you had to say in your rant. Because although black women will deny being like this. As a general population in can be held valid. I personally grasp what your saying. I’m a African American woman that grew up most of my life in predominantly White neighbor. Then went to a predominantly White college and my major was one that many Black didn’t venture into. (Corporate Finance was a major African American students ran to on my campus.) But I do know where I come from and where I am going. I can say that its understandable that you want to be with someone that will relate to your experiences. And now your preferences are geared towards women that you believe can provide you that support system you need. And so far in your life you haven’t found it with a Black woman. But as the intellect you are, I hope you know not all Black women as you describe. I think you do understand that and you love your Black women. Its just that you don’t feel the love from then and you go elsewhere. There is nothing wrong with that at all. But just as a note, the Black woman that would be in your corner is just as selective as you are. She’s a bite harder to find. Nonetheless, I enjoyed you view. And I just want to say that; I hope God blesses you in the union you have with any woman. No matter what the color of her skin is or the texture of her hair.
~God is Love~
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Ms. Banks
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Tisk..Tisk. I’m am lost for words…
Guest Blogger, I am quite ashamed that you even took the time to write the garbge that you wrote. Not all Black women are the way that you discribed. But at least one good thing will come out of this…there won’t be any poor Black women that will have to put up with your crap.
It’s a sad day when Black men like you have to make themselves feel better by putting down their Black women.
I just married the man of my dreams and he’s not Black and when I showed him your entry, he shook his head and laughed….” what a fool. He says he’s well educated, but he talks like he dropped out of school in the 2nd grade”.
I pray that if you have children, they won’t turn out to be so closed minded like you.
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MyLaowai
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Call me Mister “I’m Not An American”, but isn’t the race we belong to called Homo Sapiens Sapiens?
I’ve never understood this whole Black White Thing.
Mind you, I live in China these days, and let me tell you, if you think you have race issues (and you do, America), then you need to see how bad it is here…
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crawler
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I’m a black woman who feels just like you do towards black men. I think this is all just a matter of class. I do believe that there are some Black men I could be compatible with but my real question is how come we aren’t finding each other? I can appreciate what hes said because I’m a black woman and I have some of my own gripes with the majority of black women. I appreciate you expressing yourself candidly because this is what plenty of men are feeling but just not saying. I could even see myself being friends with someone like you. But seriously, what is happening to black people? What is to become of us if the best and brightest continue to miss out on eachother? I don’t knock interracial dating because I do it myself but I often think about what it would be like to be in a relationship with a black man who was like me…
Oh well that’s my rant.
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kam
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I have bad news for you. On Christmas morning, you will still be black. LOL
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Annatrice
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Radiotherahim, thank you for putting up with the feedback on your guest blogger’s entry. Apparently, many of us feel the need to share. Please bear with me.
Guest blogger: Your circumstances never dictate your life path, your decisions do. You haven’t been able to comprehend your own insecurities enough to function in spite of them. You are not unique in your experiences. I also received a bachelor’s degree in an uncommon field for a black woman (Bilingual Education) as well as received my Master’s in Linguistics. I love meeting new people, and do not consider it an esteemable quality in myself to judge an entire race/culture/group based on the behaviors and knee-jerk responses of a few.
Your decision to publicize your invalid conclusions about a group who desire support and affection just as much as you do lets me know you got some more livin’ to do, dear heart.
You may have been burned, humiliated, and harassed by fickle women, but your conceit may have also kept you from seeing the big picture. Do you want to see change? Succinctly clue them in on what they did wrong. Do you have any love in your heart for your fellow man? If not, being a sentient, educated, sophisticated, sane individual does you absolutely no good. What use is being multi-faceted if you don’t know how to exploit it? If you want to inspire change, and be of some use, speak up. Be the antithesis of the worst, and tell the next person who abuses your pride how they can improve on their behavior in order to be a better individual. However, if you don’t want to live free of the resentment you harbor, ignore your common sense and remain inhibited. But, I reiterate, it all comes down to your decision. You are loved, no matter who you reject. Peace.
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Regina aka ExpatJane
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Hilarious, but, let me say, your limited point of view. If you’re a black man who has noticed that he doesn’t want to be limited or judged by his color or to have it dictate his relationships. There are many black women who feel the same way.
You see, there are normal black women out there. By normal I mean not entitled, non-combative, balanced women, who, like you, haven’t put themselves up as sacrificial lambs for the race. How do I know this? I am one.
By the way, if you’ve not noticed, no matter who we date or reproduce with we have black children. From that point of view I’m not at all betraying my race when I date out of it.
However, I’m not interested in racial politics in my relationship. You show me from posting this that even with this desire to not be defined by your race by your exclusion of black women, you are defined by it. I, too, am not interested in someone telling me what music I ought to like or what opinions I must think. I’m not interested in fulfilling a stereotype. However, I realize that a man’s race doesn’t dictate how he’ll view those issues. His perspective will. Therefore, even though I’ve met irritating black men who are pretentious, I know there are great black men out there too. I’ll date whoever I click with.
Funny you blast black women for being combative but post this as if this isn’t combative and an insult to black women as a group. We’re all sophisticated to know we’re not a monolith. Your choice to write this makes it seem that it only applies to you.
What’s interesting is I don’t need to blast my dating preferences all over the net. Yes, I’ve got a blog too. I would suggest that with such delicate subjects you try something new. That would be tact.
Take care.
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Pahanalou
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I can totally relate to what the auther is saying. In this country, we are, by “law” equal, but we, ofcourse, come in different forms, styles, cultures, and so on. It would be absolutely silly to believe that every man and woman are supposed to be attracted to any and every culture and race out there when in fact, it doesnt happen that way. Whether the reason is biological, or based on culture or experiences, no one can decide for us who we find attractice, and who we decide to love. Saying that, I am a white male, and I dont find myself attracted to women of black culture. Notice I said black culture, and not black women. There is a difference. I respect all women of all forms, as human beings, on this very small world. But, I can not physically, nor mentally pretend or try to condition myself to like someone, or something that deep inside I do not. Do I feel guilty? Not, one, bit. We are a product of nature, we underneath still have animalistic earges that can not be corrected, fixed, or swayed by some beaurocrat (sp?) internet bogger, radical, the “politcially correct” or, our friends and familys. So, to wrap things up, your opinion, is yours, and you have the option of being with whome you want to be with. More power to you. I am a man of science, and reason, and I believe that science explains our choices, and “logic” for making such decisions about relationships, and that there must be a legitimate, if not understandable reason behind it. I am not wise enough, nor smart enough to know why, but I am not going to fight my desire, nor put down yours
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Shane
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I can relate to you. I’m a biracial guy and I’ve never dated a black woman. Out of all the groups of women, they seem the most alien, the most dysfunctional and anti-social.
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Chris
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I agree with most of the article, except the hair part. I esthetics really doesn’t matter to me much, I’m bigger on personality. I’ve dated all types of sisters. From dime pieces to buckets, fat to skinny, sophisticated socialites to straight reebok wearing hood rats, who couldn’t care less of the difference between a desert and a salad fork. I’ve recently dated a Caucasian woman… And WOW a light clicked. In our realtionship she is more a partner, no way near a dependent. She actually paid for our meal on the 1st date. Now we rotate either I’ll pay for dinner and she’ll get the movie… Sometimes I have to insist on paying. She know more about ol’ skool rap that I do. Not because she was trying to land a black man. That’s just taste in music. Her second favorite genre is country. I’m tollerant…. But my main point is she knows how to treat and keep her man. And now from my increased interractions with people of Caucasian decent. I’ve discovered that the majority of Caucasian women share much of the same tastes and values as she does. I’m sorry my African American sisters, but some of you leave us no choice but to cross over.
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Chris
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Sorry for any misspellings and gramatical errors… It was a quick post from my phone… But u get what I’m trying to convey right?…. Deuces Chris
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Rich
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You contradicted your self black women you said generalize black men and blame them for stuff other black men did and you generalize all for the few in your life …you are a stereotype yourself really. No offense
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Nina
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I am an educated black woman that have dated outside of my race most of my life. However,now that I am getting older and is thinking about marriage and my future….I yearn to marry a black man. I am 26 and just feel for me that it wouldn’t be 100% if my husband isn’t black. I am not speaking for everybody. I do believe that love is blind and everyone have the right to love whoever they decide to love…..with that being said I must say that I’m from California and here you see more black men dating outside their race then a black couple and that disturbs me. We are the only race that does this to this extreme extent.That says something about us as a race. That we have a lot of self hatred going on in the black communities.I find this to be very sad, heart breaking even.Just like its hard to find a good woman. Its just as hard to find a good black man. So for the author, go ahead and date your white woman if that’s what pleases you….just know that white woman ages quick and spanish woman get fat fast.Lol…it also sounds like black woman weren’t giving you any love in the first place…which means your ugly! Take care, uncle tom!LoL
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YOUNG FRESH
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I LOVE that you wrote this. I am a 31 year old black male and I DO NOT DATE BLACK WOMEN> The expectations are too high…..
What these ignorant sisters dont understand is NOBODY OWES you ANYTHING!!!!
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ELLE GOMEZ
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SADLY ENOUGH IT DOESN’T MAKE FOR “GOOD ANYTHING” THAT THE IGNORANT MEN/WOMEN ON HERE ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY THEIR INSECURITIES BY PUTTING ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL DOWN. WE STILL LOVE YOU REGARDLESS. NO WE DON’T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH YOU. FOR THE INDIVIDUAL SHANE, WHO HAS NEVER DATED A BLACK WOMAN AND YET YOU JUDGE THEM SO HARSHLY, WHY? WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU, NOTE, DYSFUNCTION, BEING ALIEN, AND ANTI SOCIAL WOULD APPLY TO ALL NATIONALITIES, KEEP LIVING.BUT ALL THE EDUCATION IN THE WORLD WILL NOT ALTER THE INNER HATRED YOU HAVE FOR SELF. EVEN THE “ACCEPTABLE EYE CANDY” ON YOUR ARM WILL NOT ALTER SELF LOATHING. IT MUST COME FROM WITHIN. SINCE WE ALL HAVE NOT DATED EVERY BLACK, AFRICAN AMERICAN OR ‘COLORED’ WOMAN/MAN ON HERE HOW CAN WE MAKE SUCH POINTS AND CONSIDER THEM VALID. WESTLEY SNIPES ONCE MADE THE SAME STATMENT, TO ALL I SAY, TO EACH THEIR OWN, BUT YOUR ISSUES ARE NOT BECAUSE OF A FEW WOMEN, YOU WERE BROKEN BEFORE THE AFFAIR BEGAN AND YOU MUST HEAL THAT WHICH NEEDS REPAIRING. NOW I UNDERSTAND THE TERM, IF YOU SAY IT ENOUGH, THEN YOU CAN BE CONVINCED. IF THAT PERSON YOU HOLD SO DEAR WILL NOT CONFORM TO THIS MODEL OF PERFECTION YOU’VE ENVISIONED, YOU HAVE AN OPTION TO END THE RELATIONSHIP. BUT TO GENERALIZE ON THE ENTIRE RACE IS NOT JUST UNFAIR, IT IS QUITE IGNORANT. EDUCATION AND CULTURE IS GOOD BUT WE MUST NOT FORGET THAT IT MAKES US NO BETTER THAN ANOTHER. THE ‘GUEST BLOGGER AND A FEW OTHERS, HAVE ONLY VALIDATED THE ONE-SIDEDNESS OF MANY LIKE MINDED PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT WHITE IS BETTER AND THE DARKER YOUR YOUR SKIN IS, MAKES YOU LESS THAN WHATEVER. WE ALL BLEED RED BLOOD AND THE SAD TRUTH IS WE ALL HAVE HAD OR WILL HAVE A NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIP AND STEREOTYPING IS WRONG WHETHER YOU ‘LIKE BERRIES OR NOT’!
PEACE
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abigail ccoper
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all i have to say is i am an Indian an my husband is black we have 2 kids married 4 6 years. he dated black women before and he said that they are the worst. no way in carrying about them self’s.and they sell funny and has know hair.
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tnameat
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Right on brotha!
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YOUNG FRESH
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DO you have facebook? lol you need to create a fan page on there
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tnameat
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I have a blog http://www.whitemeat.wordpress.com a site that honors the white woman!
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latina
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Nina,
Keep in mind that u mentioned that u’re educated but then you go ahead and mess ur self up by showing your ignorance about other races. Don’t believe that everyone that is white ages fast and DON’T believe that all latinas get fat – far from it. U need to stop watching so much T.V. and stop listening to other fools like your ignorante self. It makes you sound TONTA!!!! y mal-educada.
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Ha NIce
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I was reading this and i was like wow this is my boy. lol Of course there are exceptions to the things you listed. I don’t exclude them but i stay away from them. My girl now is mulatto and i’m happy with her
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Kera
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Very blanketed statements. And petty too. What you don’t want black women to do to you, is what you just did to them…I don’t date black guys because I think you are no good…I don’t date you because you are hypocrites…Just as fast as you take up with a white woman, I will definately take a white guy…
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Lily
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I feel bad for the guy and ALL black guys like him. As an African woman, it depresses me how some African Americans have come to hate themselves SO MUCH. This goes to prove that white oppressors have finally won the slavery battle….what more victory than making your “enemy” hate themselves so much and worship YOU and wish they were you. American black men are STILL mentally enslaved to white power (“white beauty”) and slavery was over ages ago. WOW. Good luck black women of America…..you are gonna need it.
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Lily
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Kera, you make a very excellent point. I totally agree with you. I happen to be married to a white man myself and have a half white daughter….but you don’t see me advocating white men over black men, neither did I go deliberately looking for a white mate…..I dated different races before settling down.
I just pity black men like this author.
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Mercy
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So, you said you think that it’s “stupid” when a Black woman goes natural?!! If she cuts off the hair that does NOT represent her true self?! You are PITIFUL. You don’t realize that if you’re a full black man, you more than likely share the black woman’s natural hair texture.
But you, do not find her hair to be beautiful? I bet you just LOOOOVE your NAPPY hair, huh?
Can you honestly look in the mirror at yourself and be content? Not only with your physical appearance, but with your hateful attitude?
Self-destructive man.
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La Selva
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Funny. He used sterotypes to prove his point…and most of the things he said can be labeled with women of other races. In fact, one study showed that AA women tend to have more Agape love whil White have more Manic. Th epoint to this? Not much other than he’s speaking out from his behind. It seems like he’s ventured into hoodrat terriotory and never left, yet sees himself in a different boat/territory hile failing to realize that he seems to act (by his writing and the way he is holding most if not all AA women to one standard) just like the women he’s condeming.
I’ve met guys like this author before. They spouted the same crap out, but God and baby Jesus forbid a Black/Laitno/Asian/White/Native American women dates out her race with someone of high or normal status (aka- not a hoodrat).
It’s sad really. A cycle of people beating eachother down and for what? The fact that this author considers skintone, hair type, and eye color (= race) as important factors in finding a mate shows that they are shallow and not truly looking for love (not to mention the definign factor in how people act, i.e : “black wome are…” “black women can’t…” but an accessory.
Love is not about race. This should not be an issue. This authorneeds to mature a bit and he’ll see this.
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La Selva
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After reading the comments I noticed a few things:
- It’s okay to have a preference, but when your prefernce is defined by race you just need to sit down and shut up… b/c while you’re ragging n so-and-so race you’re coming off as ignorant.
- Isn’t it funny how for people that are over AA women, they take the time to write ou long bitter responses? SOunds like someone isn’t really “over” Black women ut may have had a hard time catching one.
- Bad expriences invovled the circles that people hung around. Move out the circle and you’ll find a new flock of people…
- I keep reading “they expect too much”…butwhat? Most Black women I met wanted the same things as other women ( x: a nice educaed guy who was responsible–basically the guidlines of being an adult). And if you move out from the hoodrat circle or found a nice woman than you’d see that.
- I’ve also heard Black women wth the same complaints. Sudies have been done and tons of interviews too (google it) showing Black women complaining baout the lack of men in colelge or not being able to find one on the same level (education,class wise). They tend to date outside of their race because of it despite actively seeking out Black males (depsite the 80% of AA homes w/o Black males in them).
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YOUNG FRESH
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La Selva, Can you do a spell check when posting?
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YOUNG FRESH
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Mercy, I think it’s stupid that black women cut their hair off to try to look like something they are not. I just cant deal with the fake stuff…..I prefer my vanilla
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Adolf Hitler
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i think la selve is black. if you are, why would you look this up anyway? WTFUCK DOES NAPPY MEAN?
Anyway, i hate it when the black girls in my school walk SO SLOWELY. it wouldn’t matter if you ask politley to move to move or just shove them out of the way. they’d yell at you anyway. they say they will kick your ass, they wouldn’t do shit what so ever.
i also hate it when you say something and they say “oh go siddown someweah!” Even if you are sitting down!!
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ShanteeNicole
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It seems like he’s had a preference all along, fine and all…but again, it’s stuff that is “wrong” with black women that “led” him to date Latina and white women…suspect! I don’t date black men much myself, so I would be a hypocrite to have a problem with who someone chooses to date. But it’s the excuses (not reasons) that are used. When you have more excuses about what you don’t like about one as opposed to what you like about what you prefer, it’s a clear sign of someone who is lost and doesn’t want to take the time to attempt to understand why the rarity in what they choose to leave aside isn’t worth pursuing.
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optimistic
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Being a very well travelled and well cultured black woman from Canada, I must say that the negative stereotypes “Guest Blogger” spoke about were as offensive as the unsupportive comments that were told to him from black women in the past. Regardless of their race, people come from different social economical backgrounds within the US and throughout the world. Therefore, I suggest Mister “Guest Blogger”, experience worldwide travel and engage with as many people as possible before limiting himself to his box of experiences.
Take for example, I date interracial 80% of the time and I’d never speak poorly about black men. Trust me, I’ve met some weirdo’s but I cannot profile a race of people base on tiny experiences. All of my past suitors had good and perhaps some bad attributes that weren’t a fit for me.
Additionally, I’ve never heard of the phrase, “sweating out hair”. Quite simply, if your hair is sweaty when working out or from doing whatever, you wash it! Anything else is nasty and unacceptable.
Anyhoo darliing, smile and have a great day
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YOUNG FRESH
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JUST DEAL WITH IT….WE AS BLACK MEN ARE FED UP…YOU BLACK WOMEN EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM US. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE DISRESPECTFUL BUT LOOK AT A LOT OF SUCCESSFUL BLACK MEN….We Go with WHITE WOMEN…Why, you black women are CRAZY I AM NOT INTERESTED. I have a white girlfriend right now and I WILL NEVER TURN MY BACK ON HER.
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Andre
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YOUNG FRESH, do u ever look over what you type before you submit it? “I AM NOT TRYING TO BE DISRESPECTFUL…you black women are CRAZY”. Hmmmm that sounds like a contradiction. And if you really didnt care what people thought about your preference you wouldnt need to repeatedly have to restate your opinion. Im not saying you shouldnt have a preference but theres no need to bash another race of women. I also think that its hilarious that the only negative thing you could say about La Selva’s post was that he misspelled a few words.
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CrusaderforTruth
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When I examine blogs like these, I feel awful. Naturally. However, I must believe that african american men must have some legitamate reasons they don’t date us. Maybe we are too loud? Maybe we are too pushy? overjealous? I guess we must take their idea into view.
Because i don’t understand. i went to the site-http://whitemeat.wordpress.com/
and it made me feel sick.
One topic
Treat her like a Goddess
I quote “Most of us here are in agreement that white women are the best of all women, so we must show her (remind her) how we feel. We must never let her have doubts about her superiority, or how she is viewed in our eyes. So every day (not just on special occasions) make time to show a white woman just how special she is.”
And then I think; we may call ourselvelves -black godesses
but our men don’t treat us like godesses. Black men never say how special we are. They don’t give up their seats for us or view us with desire–is something wrong with us?
I’m 16. And right now, its about the time for me to love,date,be in relationships–but if men don’t prefer my hair/skin tone and stats show that white men date 95-96% in their race I feel like giving up on relationships in general. What is the point?
Maybe guys do have legitatmate points about our behavior. But it makes me cry that black guys would talk about how beautiful white women are and never think to say anything good about us. I give up. I have to go now.
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MyLaowai
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Dear CrusaderforTruth,
Is it possible that you are in fact asking the wrong question? Speaking personally, I think a better question would be: “Why do Americans spend so much of their valuable time writhing in angst over the colour of a person’s skin (or their religion, or their views on abortion, et al)?”
In civilised places, these things just don’t assume any great importance. Do the sensible thing and find yourself a civilised man (or woman) who treats you with respect, seeing the person you are inside, regardless of irrelevant details.
So what if a certain percentage of American males prefer X, or another percentage of American females prefer Y? Don’t follow the (dumb) herd; be yourself and make that the best you can – the rest will follow naturally. And if worst comes to worst, you can always choose to live in a place where the social rules and opinions are more enlightened.
My two cents, of course.
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Sean Coonery
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And then I think; we may call ourselvelves -black godesses
but our men don’t treat us like godesses. Black men never say how special we are. They don’t give up their seats for us or view us with desire–is something wrong with us?
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all my life i heard that “strong black women” don’t “need a man.” i heard “i can do bad by myself.” so it stands to reason that nobody will open a door for you or help you in any way.
question: how many brothas have held a door open for a black woman and they sail through it and don’t even say thank you. how many sistas think you’re weak or a punk if you’re gentleman-like. how many sistas would pass your educated ass over for either a thug or a white boy. how many sistas start flirting with you only after you get love from white women? how many white women would get with you when you’re broke and stick with you through the struggle. how many sistas only appear when it’s time to get paid.
answer these questions truthfully and you’ll see what the deal is. three cheers for the guest poster!
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GREAT MINDS THINK A LIKE
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BLACK WOMEN ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRLS IN THE WORLD TO ME LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COLOR THE BOTTOM LINE IS TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREAT JUST SOME ADVICE TO MY BLACK GIRLS LEARN TO BE LESS CRITICAL & MORE LOVING IT GOES A LONG WAY
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Yvonne
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ok, first of all, guest blogger , i love the way your ignorance seeps from every word you wrote in that article. this is what i dont undeerstand with most black men, what do they mean by they are “crossing over”? what r u? chromosomes in meiosis I. everyone has the right to date who they choose regardless of race. no one cares who you date, personally im not losing sleep over it. but dont try to give yourself an internal justification by claiming black women are not good enough or whatever. how many true black women have you met? hon, guys like you insult all women in the world. you are telling the white woman that if she didnt pay for your dinner or shut up when you was broke, u wont give a shit about her. men need to start dating women because they have feelings for her not because she will tolerate what another woman wont. ignorant men like this are all the same , they are able to be sexist and racist pigs at the same time by trying to act as if they are complimenting one person and dissing the other. but women, regardless of your race, they are insulting us all, no matter what race you are.
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Leslie the Liberal
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This is so tiring. What would any grown, educated, black man actually write a blog attacking the worth of black women. Really? You know what? You love who you love. People are people. It is the heart of a person and not the color of their skin that should be of importance. I have dated white men, black men, Latin men and have loved and been loved by all different races of men. Excluding an entire group of women based upon their race or even skin hue is not only silly, but it is limiting. Excluding a group of women that look like you and then writing a referendum about how terrible those women are, just makes me embarrassed about the state of black people – period.
All of my black male friends are married to white women and they all have embedded in their wives’ heads that black women are unworthy of their love. That is so disrespectful and, unfortunately, black men are the only race of men that have such little respect for their women and themselves. You think black women are unworthy of your love because you are not comfortable with who you are, where you come from, etc. Without knowing you, I would bet this – you grew up in the hood in DC, was subsequently educated and are using white women to hide the dirt under your finger nails. .
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Anne
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I hope this black man can teach other black men like himself to treat women properly be it black, white, whatever. I’m a black woman who refuse to EVER date a black man again. They are week emotionally and statistics show that they are not family oriented. So to all you black sister out there. Think of your worth and what kind of father you want for your children. When you find a white man who loves you, he adores you. He treats you like a queen. He does not want us – we don’t want him either.
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D
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As a man, I give you credit for saying how you feel. Notice all the black women in uproar. SEE, THATS what you don’t want to deal with. I hear ya, and I’m WHITE!
There is sorta a difference between “red bones” and SOME pure black women. They seem to be more militant on all issues of race and always have a negative attitude. I got tired of hearing thier drama which SEEMED to me, to just be insecurity.
“But I’m very adamant about saying, that we are not judged by our inconsistencies, but by our consistencies.”
This is the best line I have ever heard and it is true about all races.
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xaiver
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lissen im a dark skinned male who has college degrees and im not a CRIMINAL , LIAR or a FREELOADER just a hard working man trying to be successful. Well this article saddens me because it shows how much the media brings us down as a race and what’s even more disgusting is that blacks are the ones who break down blacks the most. Growing up i used to get teased all the time about being dark skinned and it was funny to them but what they did not relize is that there setting a mind state for others as well as them selfs that lighter is good darker is bad. Humanity is getting lighter period before you used to see many dark males and females in india japan etc but now all those dark genes are being looked down on so the males and females look for lighter mates makeing lighter babies and so on and so on so basic reading this is awful to me because every race has there ups and down whites age younger than most , asians dont really have a ideal body blacks ( african americans ) dont have the ideal hair so is it right to single out one race because of there negatives. look all im saying is that we always been hated we always been under prosicution we should bring up are black women instead of helping bring them down ( ladys do the same for your black men ) if we dont love are selfs no one will. if we keep this up soon being black will be a thing of the past we already are low in numbers and are hated and its only going to get worst the lesser we are so guy who wrote this article everybody deserves the gift of prefrence but you shouldnt really be with anybody because by reading your article it sounds like you dont really have a problem with black women you really have a problem with your self
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