Editor’s Note: Alright, alright. here’s what happened…I wrote this dope ass blog right, and i deleted the first half of it by accident, but this is my blog and i do what i want right? So here’s the second half.

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drunk dialing

I know I said this was going to be short but don’t rush me.

Now I like to exaggerate in order to make points, that’s my thing.

Let’s keep it real though, you may not know what exactly you said when you called someone but you know THAT you are going to when you do, and you know WHY, and WHAT you want from them, even if its only sex attention.

Let’s Do Some Math, Bitches:

some equations

How drunk you are = how stupid you sound especially when the other person is sober.

Fun phrases
“I’m drunk so please excuse what I say from here on out…”
Ah what da fak? Please excuse everything that you wanted to say and ways you wanted to act but didn’t when you were sober? Ah yeah, NO.

“Don’t judge me…”
Aww man got to love this zany counter attack by accusing the victim of judgement.

“What time is it?”
Late. I don’t know drunk ass!
We are both on cell phones.

“What are you doing?”
This line of questioning can be kind of tricky. Depending on how the question was asked it could either be good or bad.

1- whatcha doing?

This is the person in a state of suspectness trying to check up on you, disguised by the friendly “whatcha?” When I see one of these, mi caan believe mi eye. I go into full rebellion mode, how about you? #jordanshrug

better than the #kanyeshrug

2- whatcha doing? Aka whatcha gonna do about my pumpum?

We (Men) send this version. “You still up?”

What to do:

Make plans or don’t answer it and pretend you fell asleep. We call that the “death of the ringtone” swindle. What up streetz. #awwh.

All in all, be careful what you do with your fingers when your drinkington.

Someone could get hurt.

Here is the pilot episode of “On The Couch” hosted by myself. Leave comments and let us know what you think.

On The Couch

oh you thought it was just us guys being obnoxious????

Here is my homegirl CandiedJamz:

jamz. not to be confused with jelly.

You gon' think she invented text 2.

I’d rather text than talk.

1. ET Phone Home. Growing up all I did was talk on the phone. I mean hours and hours. I would fall asleep on the phone, and the guy would be like ‘are you sleep?’ and I would say ‘no I’m up’.  I just loved talking on the phone, for what reason, I don’t know. Now, you couldn’t pay me to stay on the phone for ONE hour, let alone multiple ones. Ugh.

2. Circles not squares. I really hate circular conversations. You know the types…A: what are you doing? B: nothing. You? A: nothing, how you been? B: fine. You? It gets to be really annoying. No one wants to just hold a phone and give/get one word questions and answers. It’s corny, and an all around waste of time.

3. Mental Stimulation Verbal Penetration. I have noticed from personal experience that sometimes it’s easier to text/BBM/email something you want to say rather than tell a person on the phone or in person. That might be feelings, breaking up, business, etc. Sometimes texting is my ‘liquid courage.’

If you want to talk to me, text or BBM me. I’m more likely to answer a twitter @reply (@candiedjamz) than to answer my phone. There are are far better things you could be doing with your tongue, than using it to talk.

*drops mic*

Rahim: Thank you Ms. Jamz…and here is the visual. Ironically, our blog post came out wayyy before this video, but why hate just because they bit? It’s interesting.