Settling Down For Dummies Vol 1: Old Guy Edition
don't you wanna be him?
Whoever wants to be the old guy in the club, please raise your hand.
Really?
None of y’all?
Okay, okay fine. What about the ladies out there…
Which one of y’all wants to DATE, screw, and possibly get knocked up by) the old guy in the club.
Don’t worry, I’ll wait.*
No one?
So then, riddle me this.
When is it time to say when?
At what age, should the long term pimp or player sit his or her old ass down?
Is it 25? Is it 30? Is it 40?
I don’t wanna hear [insert old ass age] is the new [insert younger age here].
Is dead the new alive? Last I heard, time waits for no man.
Here are some of the more popular excuses that we “20somethings” use to reject the possibility of settling down with the person of our choice:
- too young
- dont trust opposite gender
- theres too many out there to choose 1
- i need to get my career right before I can settle down
- i just don’t like the idea of marriage (ie: its like having cable tv with just one channel)
Now, I am not writing this to influence anyone out there to go ahead and get married because, statistically speaking I would only be simultaneously empowering the growing divorce rate are we up to one out of 2 yet? Not sure.
However, I was thinking about this as I move towards the edge of my twenties in absolute terror of wearing an age that starts with a 3.
What I will do, is examine these excuses and give my humble opinion on why each reason is valid or a pile of horsesh*t.
too young
Ah, too young.
Let us not confuse “young,” with “immature.” While I do agree that teenagers shouldn’t leave the prom and head to the altar, I think that by the age of 30 you should know something basic about life.
If you aren’t in your chosen field, then you should be working towards it.
You should be working on fixing your credit. (Yeah, yours.)
You should be paying back those student loans. Are you 27 and still managed to have them in deferment?
Joof.
Your kids are going to end up paying for that shit, and I hope they hate you for it.
Basically, I think that too young isn’t a valid excuse. A grown man or woman, should be able to have their own or be pretty close to it, so that the possibility of pooling resources with a mate is not so far fetched.
I have seen some people do that, and its like one person’s shyt was so messed up, that financially the situation ended up looking like adoption.
Ah, broke niggas!
Just my thoughts.
i don’t trust opposite gender
This is so subjective. Some people, just have a tendency to gravitate towards assholes. The thing that irks me is that they know. They always know. Your “he’s a player” alarm goes off, and what do you do ladies? You press snooze.
Wake the f*ck up.
Yeah? When he’s with you he checks his phone every two seconds, but then you notice that days go by that he’s unreachable?
Jokes on you.
You haven’t met his friends?
Mom?
He tells you he isn’t “looking for a relationship?”
Here’s a clue: we are NEVER looking.
It’s just that when we are banging mad chicks playing the field, and we do end up linking with a girl we are into, we DON’T LET THAT WOMAN GO.
I mean, when we find one we like, shit, we couldn’t even cheat on them if we tried.
(Okay we could, but it would be a very spur of the moment, non emotional quick thing where either the one we were interested in wasn’t available and/or a weak drunken almost unavoidable moment.)
What I am trying to say is, that every guy can be a player, but that doesn’t mean he will be.
Just like with any game, in the game of love, It all depends on the matchup. Some of you are just begging to get your little hearts crushed. If all signs point to douchebag, reroute.
There’s a better guy out there for you. He’s probably your platonic friend that is waving his hand at you all day long like “wtf, pick me!”
He may have even sent this article to you on some “hint hint” shit.
Guys and girls, there is someone out there that is willing to treat you right.
theres too many out there to choose one
“Throw ya hands in the air…if you’se a true player…”
Whoever has their hands up is full of sh*t. The truest players are the people who not only DON’T have their hands up, but are somewhere in the corner not even acknowledging those lyrics being in the song. Watch out for THAT motherf*cker right there.
That’s the sneaky, quiet one ready to do you dirty at the drop of a condom wrapper (hopefully they use those.)
Yes, the player feels like damn, girls are always throwing themselves at me, so why do I need to pick just one?
And if no one even knows I’m a player, then shit I got a perfectly good system workin right here! Why should I fix something that’s broken?
Trust me, I know man. Lemme tell you somethin… You can pick the baddest partner int he world, and two days later you will walk by someone in the street that looks wayyyyy better. Just kick yourself and keep it movin. And feel free to look…look all you want
As a married friend of mine once told me, “its okay to look at the menu, as long as you don’t order.”
“Why oh why do I need to listen to you,” the persistent player would plead with me… There’s so many different types shapes and looking people that I want to sow my oats with! Why should I subject myself to one option when I can just keep doing this?
Fine. Do whatever you want I say. Be the old guy (or cougar) in the club. Hurry up and do ya dirt, cuz I’m telling you –time flies.
What do you guys think the right age is?
What about the excuses? Or better yet, what is YOUR EXCUSE?
And oh yeah, I will address the rest of them, and your comments.
Part 2 coming soon.
Rahim
http://www.twitter.com/rahim_thedream
Type.ill.blogfam
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Tags: non stop radio, radio the rahim, sex and relationships, the old guy in the club, type ill blog fam
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Comments (16)
amirabd89
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After 30 the only clubbin should be if your actually have some status to your name. Like Hov. He’s almost 40 and still spotted at the club from time to time but he goes to the club and can shut it down. After 30 its time for an evaluation. So I guess some celebrity figures get a pass for a few extra years or so but people that come to the club as regulars need to chill (over 30).Im only 20 but I really dont see myself being the guy pictured above…
http://www.legendblog.wordpress.com/
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native
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some things take time, the excuses are just rationales until one is ready to settle down. if your still making excuses then it’s a good thing you are choosing to remain single otherwise you might fcuk a potentially good thing. just my thoughts.
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Miss Sia
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As a current twentysomething, haven’t really thought about marriage as my anxiety about law school is consuming me. its not an excuse or anything, just what it is right now. you can be in the club after 30 but its kinda weird I guess. just stay away from me.
great opening blog btw. keep ‘em coming (#TWSS!)
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Sexy2
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Interesting post,
I think people dont settle down because they are not ready to let go of the fun and out and about lifestyle. The way I see it, we all have certain things that just take time to let go, it can be a pair of jeans, or a fav shirt, or a hobby or a life style. These things although minimal, are part of personal growth, and some people do not want to grow up. So you can go to the club after 30, but club are you going to? 18-21, 23-25 or 30-35? And are you going to the club every night? or just once a month? As you get older you can still do certain things, it is your execution that really matters. People settle down, when they are ready to, not a second later or a second sooner.
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streetz
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If you aint mentally, physically,and spiritually/emotionally ready for a relationship, stay away or my lead will spray (c) BIG
I think its all a matter of the individual. We’ll make whatever excuse possible to dodge the wifed up bullet, until we find the one that makes us settle down. Its the circle of life I say, lol
This blog was type ill. Word
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SlovesAll
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Not only is this blog completely hilarious but it’s soooooooo true. But you didn’t take into account the generation y’s best phenomena: the Quarter Life Crisis– which, for most people who can’t deal, seems to extend will past 25/26 into the 35/36 range. Damn shame.
At 30, it’s still cool to go clubbing but you’d better have your life together and be looking to have a good time with your peeps– def not looking for love (there’s no love in the club, after all).
Honestly Rahim, your question really has more to do with who is really willing to unlearn societal standards of male and female roles, and is willing to grow beyond that?
The answer is very few (on both ends). Sad but true.
I think this post should be called Growing Up for Dummies. LOL
Dope post, tho.
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mssbxny
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I say early 30′s. By then I should be where I want to be career wise and financial hopefully. I definitely do not want to be in my 40′s and some guys “lady friend”, what is that, it’s not cute. I have it mapped out somewhat, but it also requires me to find that right person. Buy 50 year old dudes is not a good look in the club. I am in my late 20′s and barely do the club, lounges are the thing for the mature females trying to live up the single life still
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William H. Strafe
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There’s one section about this that struck me, so my comment will be in the form of a response on seveneighteen. (The link is to the left.)
Thanks, Radio.
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Settling Down For Dummies: Old Guy Edition, Vol. 1 « seveneighteen
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[...] (To read the rest of this article, click here.) [...]
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Dr. J
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to me if i’m in the club at 30, it’ll be on some straight VIP status. i think at the age of 25, i could see myself being married now, to the right person. and if you read my blog there’s a few posts on why i’m single… because once you lose the fear of settling down, you’re susceptible. it’s like unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancies.
1) you’re never too young, 2) trust is a 20th century myth, and 3) there are not too many to choose from. in fact, the problem is the selection pool.
hoping over to 718 to cut up….
Dr. J is clear.
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Carrie Pink
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a mi me gusta mucho!!! and yes the divorce rate is up to 50%
can I repost??
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Radio The Rahim
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definitely feel free to repost… I think Dr. J’s comment on the selection pool is something that needs to be addressed.
I feel as though successful men (toot) such as myself actually have a big pool to choose from.
Bigger doesn’t always mean better (TNWSS), but we don’t have to feel so under duress to relationship hunt.
We can kinda fall back keep making power moves in the right direction and the women will come to us…
Ladies, there are plenty of simple exercises you can do to weed out the “bum niggas,” and if i am feelin’ real “Steve Harvey” one day I might expose ‘em.
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Vh1
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Great post….thought provoking. So here we go…my thoughts!
Age is nothing but a number…If you’re 30 and you’re still not “ready,” there isn’t a rule that says you should be. Society makes it seem like 30 is old when that’s really just not the case. You’re ready when you’re ready whether that’s 20 or 30 or 50. Finding love at ANY age is a beautiful thing….
When you do decide to step into the whole moving in together or getting married it should be a real commitment. No cop outs, no half fast bullsh*t….none of this ” Oh but I can always move out” or “Oh well you know there’s always divorce.” Really? In my opinion, anyone who has that mind set shouldn’t even bother making that first step.
NOW…if you don’t have your sh*t together when you’re 30…that’s a whole different story! You really shouldn’t put your burden of irresponsibility, laziness, lack of motivation etc…whatever it is on someone else. Deal with it, get on top of it, make moves (maybe get ur @ss out the club) and then decide to share it with someone.
Aight…i let it out! Lolol…keep the posts coming!
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Khalil is a Nice Guy
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Rah, well said. People settle down when they want to, it can’t be forced. I think deep down not all females are the relationship type. Like my grandpops told me “You can’t tun a pickle back into a cucumber, it soaked up too much vinegar already.”
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Sunny Dee
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This is hilarious! When you said blank is not the new blank…is dead the new alive I fell out! That is the most sensible thing I have heard all day! Who wants that old man anyway!
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Figz
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Very interesting read. I would like to think that most people come to this sort of debate with themselves at some point in time. So in my point of view it’s subjective. Some people come to a conclusion earlier than others, while there are a few–or more maybe–that never settle this debate at all and live there lives with no one else they consider that special.
I’m a scientist both professionally and at heart. There is a thing that we call the biological clock and it is ticking. I would assume the age was in the teenage years during the 1800′s, during the 20′s during the early 1900′s and now at the beginning of the 21st century it’s around the 30′s. That’s just putting numbers out there though, because male sperm isn’t as virulent as it is when you are younger and the likely hood of bringing a child into this world with a defect or disorder increases the older a woman and her eggs get.–> Now this only applies to people who ever think of having kids.
If there’s no kids in your future at all…then DO YOU. Some people like to wait while others are about the hear-and-now. Good post. I like replying to close friends families blogs on my own blog. I might have to elaborate on my blog as far as the excuses you used. Great post.
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