Jul 28 HAUTE HUMP DAY WITH @GYPSYTEARZ “JUST FOR ME”

You know how the song go.

The year was 1997! I was thirteen ready to join the silky Order of the Creamy Crack, the Just for Me Lodge.  “Finally” I said to myself no more ribbons, barrettes, and my mom waking my ass up every morning to do my thick curly hair.  No more corn rows, using DAX on my scalp, or combing down my baby hairs! The most important thing I will not miss is when she would comb my hair with what I like to call the “IRON FIST” being tender headed did not matter, “Beauty is Pain” she always told me. At that point I didn’t care, I was going to be like those happy girls in the Just for Me commercials.

“Just for Me” I kept singing on Church Avenue as my mother and I walked to the Beauty Supply store.  “Super, Regular, Lye, No-Lye, and So-di-um Hy-drox-ide???” “What in the world? I thought to myself but I shrugged it off because I was going be like that smiling girl on the box. “$5.99 please” said the Asian beauty supply owner. I just kept singing “Just for Me” until it was finally time to succumb to the Creamy Crack Gods and sacrifice my kink to the Supreme Priestess Madame CJ Walker. I kept tugging on my mom to walk a bit faster to get back to the house. We finally made it after her pit stop to the fresh vegetable market, Bobby’s, my aunt’s house because she made bouillon for my mom and of course being Haitian and all she had to catch up on all the family gossip and speak about politics 0_o, and the check cashing around the corner.

I dropped all the bags and ran to the kitchen to open the “treasure chest.” “Ok let’s see here…a container of a creamy substance, wooden stick, gloves, activator, and base.” Everything seemed to be there from what I examined. My mother was too through with me. So I finally sat in the chair and my mother parted my hair in four sections and applied the creamy crack from front to back. “Mommy it burns!” “UM PA TE DI OU WAP SUFRIR POU LE BEAUTE!” Translation for all my non-Creole speaking readers “Didn’t I tell you will suffer for beauty” and boy she was not lying. 15 minutes had past of the sizzling transformation and my hair was so long I’m taking if I had to put in a weave I would have an 18 inch 1B. My mom put the rollers in my hair and I had all grey rollers in my hair (ladies you know the color coded system). Ok time for the dryer the part I was once excited for but over the years dreaded. 2 HOURS LATER!!! We took the rollers out and bam! I was flowing like the Nile River. I was feeling myself in the worst way looking into the mirror every chance I got, it was quite ridiculous now that I think about it but it wouldn’t last for long.

Fast forward to 2008, about 100 relaxers later, your girl went through some experiences with her addiction to creamy crack. Colored, bleached, cut, weaved, braided you name it I did it to my hair.  I got so out of hand that I began to see my once beautiful thick hair turn into a skinny frivolous entity. “What has my hair become?” At that point my edges were suffering like crazy all you saw was my scalp. That was a turning point for me as I look at my childhood photos of a happier time when my scalp wasn’t waging war with chemicals. So the next morning I had an appointment at Impulse Salon in Jamaica, NY and I had the usual wash and set but as I sat under the dryer I had a eureka moment. After frustration in being the hair salon for damn near five hours and the heat blasted on my scalp, I went to my stylist and told her to give me a Cesar. She looked so perplexed as if I asked her to solve Einstein’s theory of relativity. She refused to do insisting that I stay in the Order of the Creamy Crack but I refused and gave her money for her services and walked out the establishment.

“Ok if she will not cut my hair I know who will” I said to myself will driving to my house. You see my cousin Fritz is a barber as a side hustle so I knew I could hustle him to cutting my hair. It was like taking candy from a baby . As I sat in the chair I saw all of my hair on the floor. It was the most liberating experiences in my life. All the chemicals, stress, and bad relationships were swept into the garbage can. Did I mention I did this liberating act while my mom was in Haiti :/ ? When she came back from her month long trip and saw me she put on the biggest production NY had seen since the great theatrical play Cats. “ Wap tiyrem Mezami Bon Dieur!… Esque ou malade ou met dim sou gayen cancer… gelen ou reme fe?” translation “Are you trying to kill me… O My God?… Are you sick? Do you have cancer..you can tell me?… or is it you becoming a lesbian?” Can I state I never laughed so hard in my life.

Yes ladies and gents that was the day your girl went natural! India Arie said it best “I am not my hair.” My mother came to terms with the fact that I was reverting back to my childhood hair practices. Of course I could have done it in stages but my spontaneous nature didn’t think it was dramatic enough. Most of my friends were in shock and really began to see how my brother and I are twins lol. Strangers loved it they thought it was a bold, very forward, and in your face. I just didn’t want to sit under the dryer for 2 hours, burn my scalp, and lose my edges. Yes, I kicked the habit but it wasn’t easy I had to learn a new hair culture.

For the first few months my curls were like Suzie Q coiled and to the point but then began the awkward stages of me not knowing what do to with my hair and the sudden urge to be dramatic again. Unfortunately, to prevent my mother from having a heart attack I promised her I would not cut my hair anymore. So I braided my hair but made sure the Africans were easy on my edges. The limbo phase lasted about a month and then I went to the ultimate temple of all Natural Hair, Miss Jessies Salon in Brooklyn, NY. This establishment taught me everything thing there is to know about natural hair and saved me from the intoxicating pits of the creamy crack. I learned the art of twists, shingling and free forming and from there I knew I was a natural sister for life.

The moral of this story is your hair is like a pride possession. Treat it as your next of kin. Going natural was the best possible solution for me but it may not be for you. By no way is this a subliminal message to convert you to the natural hair movement, or maybe it is , but I will say that your hair being in its natural state gives you room for versatility and HAIR FREEDOM AND SALVATION. I go from straight to curly any time I want J I even bleached my hair successfully and it hasn’t fallen out ! Until next week CIAO! @Gypsytearz

My favorite Natural Hair Care Products

Miss Jessies- Crème De La Curl Cleansing Shampoo, Crème De La Crème Conditioner Curly Buttercrème, Rapid Recovery Deep Treatment, and Super Sweetback Treatment www.missjessies.com

Curls- Champagne & Caviar Curl Elixir (Hair Oil Blend for Sheen & Hair Growth) www.curls.biz

Kinky Curly- Knot Today http://kinky-curly.com

Gypsy Tearz

Gypsy Tearz

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