Sep 10 What I Learned From Dating Women By @MyNameIsDuncan

What I Learned From Dating Women….

Yes. That’s what I said. Dating women. Dating women made me a better female for men to date. Dating women allowed me to understand why men get so irritated with the things women do. Even though I’m a female who has been guilty of all of these things, none of which are necessarily intentional or malicious, I was able to understand how it can get on a man’s last nerve!!

I hope this helps…

▪       Constant Affirmation

Women are maintenance. When dating a man, they need only be told they’re sexy, smart, liked and appreciated about once a month. Women, on the other hand, begin to get worried if they don’t hear some sort of verbal affirmation at least once a week. Even the most confident, secure women will begin to wonder “Does he still want me?…Is he seeing someone else?” after a few weeks with little or no flattery. However, men have a difficult time expressing their emotions. Feeling pressured to so on a daily basis will either drive a man crazy…or drive him away.

⁃     Ladies-If a man is with you, 9 out of 10 times it is because he WANTS to be with you. Let him love you in his own way. There’s a difference between true neglect and simply a lack of expression.

⁃         Fellas-Try to compliment your woman at least once a week. Don’t make it generic or recycled. If she looks exceptionally sexy one day, tell her. If you think you’re lucky to have her, let her know why. If you have XXX sex one night, shoot her a quick text or an email the next day describing your favorite part (this way she can keep it and look back at it later…yes…we really do that.) Worst case scenario….send her flowers every once in a while. Doing the “little things” will increase your chances of avoiding a ‘Let’s discuss our feelings’ chat.

▪       Unnecessary Jealousy

Some females tend to get really upset when someone checks out or hits on the person they’re dating. (Ladies…it should only be a problem if NO ONE looks at your man!) Women get mad if a female who used to be a girlfriend, sex-buddy, or object of lust is still present in a man’s life. Here’s the thing, ladies. There will ALWAYS be a woman is hotter, taller, funnier and smarter than you. Always. Getting worked up about it won’t change anything, except perhaps your man’s perception of you. Insecurity is never sexy. Spending time obsessing and arguing about other women he checks out in the street or women he knows will only make you seem less attractive and less pleasant to be around. If you have SERIOUS reason to believe your man is cheating, that’s a different story. But if he’s telling you about this person, there’s a very strong chance you have nothing to worry about.

⁃     Ladies-Remember, beauty is only skin deep. There are beautiful women all around you. There is something about you that pleases your honey and made him choose you. Stop worrying about those chicks and start enjoying your man!!

⁃         Fellas-We know you look. I know that you probably still have some sort of communication with some of the chicks you used to smash or always wanted to smash. There’s a big difference between looking and touching. Respect your woman. If you think this female is someone who might step out of line (you saw Obsessed, right??), cut her out of your life. Oh…and save yourself a headache by not doing sneaky shit. Because, some way or another, your girl WILL find out. Help yourself be great and don’t give your girl extra reasons to get worked up!!

▪       Hearing Something Completely Different Than What Was Said

This was really the most profound lesson I learned from having a girlfriend. No matter how innocent of a comment, no matter how direct…women have a tendency to hear something COMPLETELY different than what you tell them.

Example: I dated my girlfriend for over a year in college. One semester I was living in the dorms and she had a house off-campus. For those of you who went to college, you know the dorm beds are only comfortable for 2 sleeping bodies if   you want to spoon and cuddle all night. One night I was incredibly tired and just wanted to sprawl out in my bed alone. I called my girl and said “Hey babe. I’m   super tired. I’m just gonna go back to my room, do some work and knock out. Let’s do breakfast in the morning.”……

What she heard: “Hey. I don’t love you anymore.    I don’t want to be around you. I may or may not be sleeping with someone else tonight, but either way, I don’t want to see you.” ……….Ummm what?!? Smh…it turned into a big argument…all because I was tired and just wanted to sleep in my little bed alone!

⁃     Ladies- Just because your man doesn’t want to see you one night, doesn’t mean he never wants to hang out again. Just because he doesn’t oohh and ahhh over your new outfit doesn’t mean you don’t look good in it. Men operate differently. They don’t get excited about the same things we do. And they definitely like their space and alone time. They WANT to miss you. Sometimes, when a man says he’s tired and is going to just go home and go to sleep…it means NOTHING more than he’s tired and wants to go home and go to sleep!! It doesn’t always mean that he’s going to go out clubbing and start singing “Which one of y’allll?!” in his Trey Songz voice.

⁃         Fellas- Sadly, this one I can’t really explain. I’m not sure why women do it. I know *I* even do it sometimes…even after dating a woman. My best advice? Be as clear and concise as you can. Mean what you say and say what you mean. If the woman you’re dealing with is sane and logical, she’ll begin to notice your pattern of honesty and good behavior.

These are just a few lessons I learned about women while dating women that have shaped me into a better woman for men to date. Ladies, PLEASE take note!!

Talk to me, guys. What other female behavior patterns drive you nuts and/or make ZERO sense to you? I’ll do my best to try and make sense of them.

Until next time…

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