Oct 07 Before We Say “I Do”…Baby, Just Sign This Prenup Right Quick! [Agreements]

There is a negative connotation associated with prenuptial agreements.  Now, I am not married, I’m not engaged…I’m not even dating anyone special right now; I don’t need to be any of those things to imagine what kind of response you might get after telling your special someone, “Baby, I love you…but I’m not marrying you without a prenup.” I can see the person on the receiving end of such a request saying something like “So you’re already planning for this to end, huh?”…or “What kind of a person do you think I am?”

I think both of those are valid responses to a prenup request. However, should I find a man who makes me want to walk down the aisle in all white…there will already be a prenup, signed, sealed & delivered….and NOW I’m yours.

Yes. I want a prenup. Let’s say I get married..and my husband and I grow, build and prosper together. Excellent. Should we get a divorce, all of that is fair game.  However! When it comes time for me to take someone else’s last name (which is also up for negotiation, but that’s another post), there will be things I have earned and obtained on my own, prior to that glorious day. This list could include, but is not limited to: property, furniture, brands, stocks, business(es), wealth, etc. There are certain things I just refuse to give someone the opportunity to take away from me.

It’s a natural response to say “Why get married if you expect it to end?” or even, “If you’re going into a marriage expecting failure, that’s exactly what you’ll get.” True indeed…but the key word here is *expect*. I don’t think anybody EXPECTS their marriage to end…but you already know those statistics. Sometimes, shit just happens. People change. Haven’t you ever been in a relationship with someone and thought “I can’t imagine my life without this person”…then you break up…and a few months later you think “Thank GOD that person isn’t in my life anymore!”?? There’s no guarantee that won’t happen in a marriage. It might take 2 months…2 years…or 25 years. I don’t see a prenup as expecting the marriage to end…I see it as being prepared for all possible outcomes.

For me specifically, it’s not the actual ending of the marriage that makes me want a prenup…it’s how people behave when they’re hurt. That saying “hurt-people hurt people” is no joke. People get really malicious and vindictive when they feel they’ve been wronged..men and women alike. Think about it-you have no idea how someone will handle a break-up until you actually get there. Rash decisions are very often the decisions that can’t be undone. And again…I REFUSE to give someone the opportunity to f-ck with anything I made for myself, BY myself while I was by myself.

(Don’t get it twisted, my prenup will also protect whatever my husband came into the marriage with also. I play fair.)

How would you respond if your honey told you there would be no wedding without a prenup? Do you want a prenup of your own?

Single and accumulating,

Duncan

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