Actually Nova Giovanni (@NovaGiovanni) Knows The Real Reason Why Men Cheat

Written by Rahim The Dream. Posted in cheating, Dating, FUNNY, guest blogger, relationships

The REAL Reason Why Men Cheat by Comedian Nova Giovanni

Attention: Rated-R For Language, Adult Content…but no Partial Nudity
cheaters Actually Nova Giovanni (@NovaGiovanni) Knows The Real Reason Why Men Cheat

Every had a woman look at you like this? This man should be very afraid.

I will answer the question every woman wants the answer to:

Why Do Men Cheat?

(Disclaimer: ALL men don’t cheat, including myself. Thank you.)

Before I can answer this question, I must give you insight on us males. At the tender time of puberty, we discovered the super powers our d*cks possess. Before, we just thought it was something to piss out of and hold onto while we slept. Our dicks getting hard and having a function outside of those two things became actually a new concept. Then, we had to figure out WHY it got hard. Were we supposed to hang our hats from it? Were we supposed to use it to knock on doors if our hands were full?

Eventually, we realized that purpose of our dicks getting hard is in preparation of sex. After, figuring this out – we were eager to try out our newly discovered tool. All of our first sexual partners were our hand. And if we wanted a threesome, we used both hands. We did this until we felt a better pleasure than we ever felt, and a mysterious liquid came out of it. I had come to the conclusion that it was lotion, so I put it on my elbows and knees. After a while, we were playing with ourselves often. It was better than recess to a 3rd grader. Any chance we got, we were getting off with our hand.

I’ve said all of that to give you the answer to why men cheat. The only men that cheat are the men that still don’t have dick control. They still have the same mindset they did when they were 13 years old and first discovered its extra maneuvers. Yes, dick control is very important. As men, our minds should control what our body does. Our dicks should not control what we do. Any man that cheats doesn’t have dick control. Either that, or he isn’t getting what he needs at home. HaHaHaHaHa!

Nova Giovanni

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Previously by Nova: Women Who Don’t Cook Are Useless

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Rahim The Dream

I run things round these parts.

Comments (2)

  • mista ecks

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    Oh hell, here we go…another woman who knows nothing about being a man, or either another mangina trying to score cool points for pussy he’s NOT going to get spouting bullshit about why men cheat. Fuck all that shit…here are the REAL reasons men cheat.

    1. The infamous “headaches”. After a while a brotha gets tired of hearing no. He may very well have the patience of a saint and stay faithful for a bit, but after a while the porn gets old.

    2. The monotony of monogamy. A brotha gets tired of the same old thing all the damn time day in and day out. And a lot of y’all just don’t do the shit y’all used to when we first hooked up. The “I got him now…so I don’t have to do what I used to” or the “hurry up and let’s get this over with” mentality is what drives men in to the arms (read: bed) of another woman.

    3. Sex with stipulations. Speaking from personal experience, I had to deal with 8 years of “don’t touch the boobies” and “coochie licking” WTF? Who knew I would be the only guy in the world who likes to eat pussy, and of course with my luck, I would land the only woman in the world who does not like to have her pussy eaten…(yay…lucky me [sarcasm]) My point is this…if you put stipulations on it…don’t get mad when he finds that one that’s down to go all out.

    Bottom line…men are INDEED capable of monogamy…there just has to be some incentive.

    Reply

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