Haute Hump Day with @GYPSYTEARZ presents:

IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT!!! REALLY NOW???

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A dawn of an era! The single ladies anthem was birthed by the rising queen of Pop R&B Mrs. Beyonce Knowles- Carter. For the record, every time that song comes at any function, I am usually the first person on the dance floor letting the infectious melody run through my body as if I’m Queen Bey herself performing for audience.  This empowering song has brought single women that justice that they were waiting to serve to their male counter parts. But!!! Does that song give a sense of entitlement of marriage and a ring to ALL single ladies?

Shockingly enough I think it has! Some women have used this song as the Holy Grail into securing an everlasting life of marital bliss. Well I am here to tell you there is more to it than catchy tune and a mesmerizing hook.

Last weekend, I went to my boyfriend’s best friend’s wedding and it was spectacular. You could really tell that they were in love. It was a traditional Haitian wedding complete with a huge Catholic church, over 200 guests, old Haitian men asking for Barbancourt 5 star, and memorable reception at Jericho Terrace.  Now the reception was off the hook until I heard that infectious song again! O boy it’s that time again, I thought to myself.  As I looked up the beautiful bride was forcing me to get up to catch the bouquet to “Single Ladies”.  Ok so I appeased the bride, I walked onto to the dance floor, and stood there with 30 other women basically foaming at the mouth to catch the beautiful arrangement. 1-2-3 “TOSS”… Alas, my friend captured the bouquet but suddenly, next thing I know I wasn’t at a wedding anymore I was watching Wrestlemania! Finally, the bouquet “champion” rose from the pile of sequins and organza. Never in my life did I see group come to blows for flowers lol! Is that what is going to make him put a ring on it?

Here are 5 things I think are essential into getting him to “put a ring on it”~ this is based solely on experiences.

5.  You have to be domesticated to a certain degree!

You can still be an independent woman and know how to cook and clean! My mother always taught me how to be independent but she also told me you have to learn how to feed and clean after your man because that is a special ingredient for a lasting relationship. The key to a man’s heart is his stomach so you better learn how to make his favorite dish to lure him into getting whatever you want! He will be mesmerized that you have successfully mastered his Mama’s biscuits. Also not being a slob helps promote your “wife-ism.”

4. Let him be the man in the relationship!

Tradition! Tradition! Tradition! Sometimes you have to let him be the provider and the protector…besides being dainty always comes natural to you! You have to let him honor you being his woman! Let him open the door, pull out your seat, wine and dine you, buy you flowers, and let him court you with his chivalry! CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD LADIES! I am a witness to it right now in my life

3. Learn to listen clearly!

Take the Q-tip and make sure you got every last buildup in your ear! (((Pulls out bullhorn))) Don’t try to interpret what he is saying and morph it into what you want to hear! 95% of the time what he says is what he means…the other 5% is for those fronting-ass men that want to play it up for their audience and destroy a good thing!

2.  Don’t try to change him!

No one is perfect! I REPEAT NO ONE IS PERFECT! Why in God’s name would you try to change someone that you were attracted to get with in the first place? Sure he changes the channel while you are watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta to watch lame ass Lebron James announce his is joining the Miami Heat. Or the time he left the toilet seat up and you fell in! But what about that time when you thought he forgot about your birthday and surprised your ass with Gucci Bag and surprise trip to the Bahamas??? Yeah quickly forgot about that right lol! Bottom line relationships are an emotional rollercoaster and you should just enjoy the ride with your mate and evolve into a timeless love affair.

1. If you won’t do it… the next trollup will!

This is self-explanatory and YOU KNOW what I am speaking about! Being a prude will get you NO WHERE! You have to learn how to balance the equilibrium of being a refined Audrey Hepburn to an erotic Pinky! Keep living in the magical world of Disney World if you want to!  #imjustsaying

Listen in no way shape or form am I a relationship aficionado however, I have been learned and experienced enough to know you will not keep or get a man if you keep acting like the Ultimate Warrior at wedding receptions or anywhere for that matter. In order to reach to the altar you must walk the “honest and nurturing aisle of relationship bliss” Until next week…always make sure the hump is hot!!!

Ciao!

Gypsy Tearz