By Amanda featuring Rahim

So trending topics have become part of the norm, I even use hashtags when I’m texting people. They are pretty interesting, you get to see exactly how much people think alike and also how dramatic people can be. One of my favorite #TT ‘s had to be #ReallyMeans. I found my thumb on my trackpad scrolling through the timeline for about 20 minutes. People are quite the characters! THANKS TO TWITTER I now can interpret things people say or do easily. Here are the top seven lessons from #ReallyMeans.

1. Im 5 minutes from your house………. #ReallyMeans Im just getting in my car. Now when anyone says I am down the street don’t even bulge to put your shoes on. You probably have time to heat up a hot pocket!
2. She/he is like a brother/sister/bestfriend to me……….. #ReallyMeans we slept together and now we are cool but we just may sleep together again! I mean that can be my opinion but I haven’t been proved wrong yet.
3. If someone starts off a sentence with NO DISRESPECT………. it #ReallyMeans 9 times out of 10 they are about to disrespect you.
4. LOL ………..#ReallyMeans I have nothing else to say so just let the conversation end. No need to try and keep the convo going, obviously they aren’t.
5. FELLAS TAKE NOTES: When a female says I’m Okay… ……….it #ReallyMeans she is NOT so if you care you better make it right.
6. If you ask for someone’s number and they say let me get yours… it #ReallyMeans they aren’t interested. I wouldn’t even expect a call after that.
7. LADIES TAKE NOTES: If he hits you up after the club at 4 a.m. asking where’s the party at …………#ReallyMeans he wants to come over and XXXX.
Now although you may not agree with all of them, they are pretty accurate. So thanks to twitter I can detect B.S even quicker than before. 

:::Hold On Amanda… I have 3 more, let’s make it an even 10:::

This is how I look at my cell phone when you call me.

8. When you call me during the hours of 10am-7pm on my cell phone………. that #reallymeans you don’t think I have a job.  Da f*ck?
Don’t Tommy me cuz I be on twitter all-day. I got workstubs for that ass.
I usually hang up quick and text people right away “can’t pick up, I’m at the office) to be courteous, but I’m ’bout to stop doin that sh*t.

2. When you ask me for a bite of my sandwich or a sip of my drink and I say “I’ll save you some,” ………..that #reallymeans I think your nasty and I wouldn’t eat/drink after you, OR that… (Wait for it) I don’t wanna share? How about that.

1. When you invite me to a party and I ask you “what time does it start?” …………That #reallymeans I don’t wanna go. #mybad. Why would I ask you what time a party starts at? I’ve been going to parties for 14 years.

ADD YOUR #REALLYMEANSES BELOW…DON”T BE SHY.

Editors Note: I decided to drop a free-writing session while I was taking a train ride to drop my grandmother off these cookies I baked her and see how it goes. If you think that was code language for a drug drop off, click here.  Anyway…here’s my points. Bullet.

I wonder if this will make sense to y’all or if it will be a you-had-to-be-there.  Anyway you guys know when you are on the subway, sometimes you wonder what that person across from you is thinking. This is it. (No michael jackson cross out joke needed)

• There is a dude diagonally wearing a “wanted for mass murder” t-shirt. If they don’t detain him and check his bag, I’m hatin.
• Dude right across from me with a Cameo mustache (see main pic) has a sweater vest on. That’s it. F*ck what  the weather channel’s talkin’ bout — he’ll be good hot or cold, I guess. If you have an idea of what race he is, you’re a racist.
• Making fun of the fat people on here would be classless, too easy and an insult to my creativity.     -_-
• You ever look across and catch someone staring at you?   Da f*ck?
• Cameo just left, thanks for asking.
• Lemme catch a motherf*cker picking their nose up in huh.    -_-
• Anyway, since you asked, what I like to do during the summer is look down at womens feet and make suspect faces and let them catch me. Some of them know they’re wrong, and try to hide their feet. Now tell me that aint insecurr.
• Have you ever took down the number to any of these ads on the train?Dr zizmor, shit for people with erectile dysfunction, and rewarding degrees from unaward-winning schools. I can’t front I went to one, I didn’t even have to take the GRE to get into the masters program — all I had to do was take an eighth grade math test and write a book report. I still dropped out. It was fun telling girls “yeah I’m actually working on my masters right now.” I wish twitter was poppin back then. I left that school dumber then when I started — and broker.  Is that [broker] a word?

• Last but not least, the woman right next to me was the first to read this post because her nosy ass has been staring at my screen this whole time. She hasn’t laughed yet, which might mean it sucks.

 Anyway, I’m bout to hit that Jeff Gordon…

Got that cookie-work all day,

Rahim “I Need A Picture Signature” The Dream

This is my sh*t down below, it used to be:

“Bloggin’ Ass Bloggers! ” – A King

Question:
How do you know that you’ve never been posted about?

Bloggin' Ass Bloggers

Almost everyone has a facebook, a blog, or a twitter.

You know that day when you ran out the house quick lookin like you got dressed in the dark?
You might be a twitpic somewhere.
The day you forgot to wear deodarant and you smelled like a goat sh*t sandwich?
Posted. I bet it was definitely tweeted.

Do you suffer from bloggerphobia? Fear of bloggers.

I came up with this idea, because I was doing some real cupcake ish being out with my girl and her friends hangin out at a bar the other night and I ran into a fellow blogger, who has been known to to grab a keyboard and  hurt somebodys feelings or put em on blast if he feels like it. I was like damn, let me be easy. What up Seattle!

Oh yeah, and I also steal peoples twitpics for work– and label them all crazy before providing them to radio station jocks around the country.  Ask Big Tigger. You thought Bossip was bad?

Haha you might be gettin clowned on the radio right now, my bad.
Its a bloggy blog world,
Rahim

P.s. Don’t start actin different around me now.