"Dear Blackberry," An Open Letter To A Smartphone By @GypsyTearz

Posted by Rahim The Dream at 5:14 PM #ohyoufancyhuh, blackberry, blog, guest blogger, haute hump day, hump day, relationships 1 Response »
Sep 022010

Dear Blackberry-

I think this letter is the hardest thing I ever had to do but here goes… I’ve decided we can no longer continue our relationship.

It’s not you…it’s me!

We had a good run! I remember the day I first got with you. The sidekick was becoming more and more juvenile and the excuses grew on why my update wouldn’t come fast enough or why my signal was lost for hours at a time. You saved me from enduring more childish behavior. I thank you for bringing me into another level of adulthood. With a signal click, I was able to check my work email, facebook, twitter, messages with ease! The greatest gift of all is BBM! I praise you a thousand times for allowing me to have easy access to my friends and family. You were the one that was able to tell me if someone was straight up ignoring me…(R is for read…. Sigh the memories) Thank you for allowing me to be a part of BBM groups that ALLOWED ME TO BE GREAT!

However, with the good come the bad and the ugly! Unfortunately my dear, bad prevailed! Our once great love affair turned into an abuse relationship. You were IKE and I was TINA! You were cold as ice the way you froze on me!  How many times did I have to pop out you battery??? Remember the time that you were having an affair with the hourglass??? Don’t pretend like you didn’t…you flaunted it right on your screen! O! And what about the time that you turned off and DIDN’T TURN BACK on until I was ready to return your ass back to the company!!! Missed calls and my phone didn’t even ring 0_0.  You think because you upgraded yourself from the scroll on the side to the Curve to the Bold, and now to a sensor pad…that I would stay? O! #youfancyhuh? Well guess what? I’m Tina kicking yo ass in the limo! Your lack of regard, jealousy, treachery has leaded me to believe that I loved you too long for such maltreatment…

With that said, I have caught the eye of another.  You see I’ve been eyeing them for weeks! And as of yesterday we’ve been talking!

His name is the Samsung Epic. Last name Sprint. He is sleek, got 4g capability, 5 megapixel camera, apps for days, and runs on the Android 2.0 system…so POW! He made me realize you were Mr. Right Now! Obviously for me, he is Mr. Right!

Well I wish you all the best and hope you continue to grow and prosper and make someone else happy

Ciao-

Bye For Now (Y)

@gypsytearz

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5 Stupid Things Smart Women Do By @MyNameIsDuncan

Posted by MyNameIsDuncan at 3:49 PM @MyNameIsDuncan, blog, guest blogger, relationships No Responses »
Aug 262010

Don't Be Like Her, Please.

 

Despite being educated, independent, funny, motivated, beautiful and witty, some BRILLIANT women still do STUPID, STUPID things when it comes to men, sex and love. I can’t really explain why we do it…even as I wrote this list, I knew I was guilty of doing these things in the past, even though I KNOW I know better…

Ladies… stop doing these things and start letting yourself BE GREAT!

Fellas….go ahead and show this to the women in your life: girlfriends, wives, sisters & friends.

So here goes..

#1 Being a sponsor.

There is a difference between treating your man to dinner, buying him a nice watch, taking him to a football game, etc…and paying his phone bill, letting him hold your car (with an expired or non-existent license), paying for him to go out clubbing (without you), or just plain straight-up sponsoring your man.

            Did you give birth to this man? No? Then why do you feel the need to be his caretaker and provider?? I’m all for holding down your man during rough times…spoiling your man and treating him nicely (no matter your budget). But you should NOT be this man’s sponsor!!!

            Everybody would rather spend someone else’s money than spend their own. I don’t knock anybody for being in a situation where people are paying for them; it’s not my style, but I can definitely see the benefits of the situation. But here’s the thing…no man-ERR, scratch that..no PERSON-would give up such a cushy situation. If you are paying his way now, unless it’s only a temporary situation (laid off work, etc.), chances are you will continue to pay his way for the remainder of the relationship. Unless the man is extra stupid, he will NOT fuck that up!!  

 

#2 Listening to your girlfriends more than you listen to yourself

How many times have you had a chit-chat with ya homegirl, had some “epiphany”…and then called up your man to tell him about your newly-found wisdom? And how did that work out for you?? I’ll wait….

You don’t want your man to be coerced by his friends, right? Same rules apply for us, ladies. Let’s keep it a buck…regardless of how much you love your girls…they don’t always speak with YOUR best interest at heart. Some women are jealous, some women are insecure; some women are haters and some women don’t understand men nearly as much as they’re convinced they do. Chances are…you’ve got at least ONE friend who has at least ONE of those qualities. While you shouldn’t disregard everything your girlfriends say, you should definitely look at who is sending the message. What’s their history like, both personally and romantically? At the end of the day, YOU are the only one living your life. Any decision you make should be based on YOUR thoughts, YOUR feelings, YOUR goals and YOUR needs.

 

#3 Painting the picture of Mr. “Perfect”

Almost every female I know has done this at one time or another: You meet a guy…physically, he’s your type.  Check. You strike up a conversation and he’s got nice teeth, he’s speaks like an educated man..fresh cut..maybe a nice watch or a nice car. Check. He voted for Obama. Check. He’s a Lebron fan and says he’ll never be a Gucci or Waka Flocka fan. Check and chiggidy-check!!! You continue to chat for the next few days…finding you have more and more in common…afterwhich you think to yourself…”Wow…this man is sexy and smart…we have so many things in common”…while you drift off into fantasy land…subconsciously you start filling in details of what you assume a man who likes what he tells you he likes, would like for other things…or would do in certain situations…or would do in the bedroom, etc, etc, etc……..Fast forward to a situation where you had expectations he would behave a particular way..he does not. You are disappointed and upset. You then say: “all men are the same.”

 

But all men are NOT the same. Some are dirtbags, some aren’t. Just because a man didn’t do what YOU assumed he would do in a certain situation, doesn’t mean he should be written off, or that he’s a Dog. It might just mean he’s human..and not perfect. And I got news for you honey: Neither are you!

            When a female meets a seemingly great man, it’s exciting. As women, we come into contact with a lot of washed dudes. Corny, involved, emotionally unavailable, rude, stupid, lazy, dishonest….the list goes on. So when we meet a man who is handsome, smart, kind and motivated…immediately women get excited. It’s already such a rarity to find, perhaps we just can’t help ourselves. So we start to paint this picture in our minds (9 times out of 10 it is a subconscious act) of what  we think this man will be like as a whole based on the information we have thus far. But it is IMPOSSIBLE to know what someone will do in a situation until they are actually IN that situation. Stop filling in details and remind yourself that it takes TIME to learn someone. Be patient. If you do that, I guarantee you’ll have less disappointment down the road.

#4 Having Unprotected Sex

This should go without saying. Sadly, we live in a world where both infidelity and STDs run RAMPANT!! It is SO important to get tested regularly, even if you’re in a committed, long-term relationship. Any time you start sleeping with a new partner, you should both get tested TOGETHER!! Is it a little awkward and uncomfortable to discuss a status with a partner? Sure-but imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it would be to tell someone “I have herpes!”.

If you and your man are both clean, there should be no hesitation to go get tested and to discuss sexual health. If dude gets agitated over a topic like this, that is an automatic RED FLAG!!

More importantly, when you’re with someone, you should still be using condoms. Just because a man tells you he’s not sleeping with anyone else, doesn’t mean it’s the truth.  Be careful and protect yourself!!

There is no coming back from HIV. There is no coming back from Herpes. These stay with you FOR LIFE!!!!!

 

#5 Letting your vagina pick your man.

At some point or another, every woman has been in a situation where they were involved with a man who was NO good for them…but the sex is incredible. This has the potential to be your downfall, ladies. We have ALL heard stories about that “make-me-crazy d*ck”. I’ve never heard one story with a good outcome. Don’t let your best girl get you into trouble!

            Having difficulties determining your motives for keeping a relationship? Ask  yourself how happy you would be with that person if you were unable to ever sleep together again. Let that answer guide you!

I’m almost willin to bet money, that every woman, at one point or another, has been guilty of at least one of these foolish acts. No shame if you make these mistakes…just make sure you’re not repeating these mistakes. I hope this helped! :)

Fool you once, shame on them..fool you twice, shame on you.

 

Keep it funky!

Goodbye for now.

Duncan

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Exclusive: "SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER" - Written By @Vanessa_Gyan

Posted by Rahim The Dream at 10:14 PM bad news, black movies, black people business, cheating, guest blogger, relationships 1 Response »
Aug 222010

A few people already know about this situation BUT i’ve decided to just let it ALL out and finally be FREE and NEVER have to mention it again!

oh yeah.

Around 3 years ago, I met a guy (for this blog i’ll call him CHUCK)… I met Chuck in school and we starting talking. The “relationship” was a little bit rushed but at that moment it felt right. About three weeks after just talking, Chuck called me and goes “Hey Vee, Do you have a boyfriend?”. In my mind I was like “umm what is this guy talking about”. So I just played along and said “NO”, and he goes “Well, I wanted to know if I can be your boyfriend?” I found it to be really sweet how he went about asking me and off course I said “Yes”. Two months into the relationship I got Chuck a phone under my name (I know better now lol). We then decided to take a break. During the 1 month break, I didn’t date anyone else or even talk to anyone else. Chuck and I would still speak occasionally. Chuck and I decided to get back together. Everything seemed normal for the next few months. We would talk all the time, see each other.. it was GOOD. It had gotten to the point were we said “I LOVE YOU” to each other.

Then a DRASTIC change happened. Chuck started acting very weird. He was angry at times for no reason. It was just so different. I continued to stick it through though. One night his phone rang and the name that came up was “myspace jumpoff“. LOL! LOL! I asked him who that was and he came up with a whole story. He told me it was a guy around his way that was obsessed with myspace so they named him that. I didn’t think twice to look into it because I was never that type of girl. At around 9 months into the relationship it was just unbearable. Everything I seemed to do was wrong in Chuck’s eyes. If i said left, he would say right. So at that point, I didn’t see the relationship going anywhere. So Chuck and I broke up. I went and got my phone back from him. Chuck did the funniest thing, he handed me the phone without the battery. That alone made me KNOW he had to have been hiding something. So, I put my battery and his phone and that is when EVERYTHING became clear to me. Pictures with other girls and text messages that BLEW my MIND. One message was from a girl suggesting baby names and pleading for him to come see her. Never was I the girl to look through his phone BUT that night I called EVERY girl in his phone. One girl called me back.. and this is how the conversation went…

Female :”Hi, someone called my phone”,

Me: “Yeah, this is Chuck’s girlfriend”,

Female: “Chuck’s girlfriend? Do you know my cousin is having his baby next month”..

Me: ” You know i didn’t know but from messages I saw in his phone, I figured something was going on”.

Female:” WOW, I can’t tell her this because this is going to break her heart”…..

I called Chuck’s other phone and he wouldn’t answer. Then two days later I get a call from the girl who was having his baby. She told me EVERYTHING. Basically it was during the time we were on BREAK and they had sex ONCE and she got pregnant. She didn’t even know him but she kept the baby. She actually made me feel sorry for her and she invited me to the babyshower. LMAO! I became emotionally drained, I didn’t know what to do. Eventually Chuck called me and admitted to me that she was indeed pregnant. He apologized many times and just kept saying he didn’t mean to hurt me and he loves me. BLAH BLAH BLAH.. I literally LOST myself at that point. We didn’t speak again after that. Everything just ENDED!….. I thought about him a few times over the years and I would break down and cry.

I dated again after that but had a wall up and didn’t really give guys an opportunity.

Last year, I was in Soho and who do I bump into??? YUP! Chuck. He was very shocked to see me. He took my number and did call. We started “talking” again. He apologized again for everything that had happened. And all I kept saying was “Why get back with me when at that point you knew she was pregnant”. He said “How do you tell the person you love, the person you thought you would one day marry that you got another girl pregnant”. LOL .. We tried BUT the love I had for him back then just wasn’t how it was when I saw him. He thought that it would be back to those happy days and I would forget everything that happened. How do I forget something like that when the PROOF is right in front of my eyes.

He has a baby girl!!!!!…. Like lets be serious!

This situation was definitely the real life version of Usher “Confessions”

I feel like RIGHT now.. I’m finally free from what I thought me and him could possibly have. I am ready to fully date again and enjoy life!

Vanessa

LADIES: NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS! IF HE CAN’T BE A MAN ABOUT A SITUATION THEN HE DOESN’T NEED TO BE IN YOUR LIFE! STOP GOING BACK TO THE PERSON WHO PUTS YOU DOWN, CHEATS ON YOU AND MAKES YOU FEEL LESS THEN WHO YOU KNOW YOU ARE!

Signing off,

Vanessa.

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The Art Of Approaching A Woman [Part 1] By @MyNameIsDuncan

Posted by MyNameIsDuncan at 11:30 AM #ohyoufancyhuh, Dating, blog, guest blogger, relationships 1 Response »
Aug 052010

He is not winning.

Between being a bartender, being a decent-looking girl and living in NYC where thirst is at an all-time high, I have heard damn near every pick-up line in the book. Most of them being incredibly corny. When it comes to being smooth with women, a lot of men fall short. But no worries, I’ve compiled 5 easy tips for approaching a woman.

 *Disclaimer*:

A) Even following these tips, you might strike out. Not every woman will want you, no matter how you look or what you do. Dating is like gambling-the house holds the cards and you won’t win every time. But if you never make a bet, you will NEVER win.

B) I’m only speaking on behalf of respectable women, not birds. They require a different approach. See Kat Stacks for more info.

 1) Most importantly, you want to separate yourself from other men. One of the biggest turn-ons for a woman is to think of a man as “not being like every other dude”. The easiest way to do this: don’t approach every woman the same way! We are all different and we can tell when you hit us with a recycled line. MIX IT UP!!!

2) This brings me to my next point: Personalize your approach. Do you know how many times we hear: Where are you from? What do you do? Do you come here often? Try saying something funny (if you *know* you’re funny…if not, hold off on the jokes). Make a comment about something you both see, hear, smell, etc. Talk to her a like a female you already know…this will relax you.

3) Regardless of how good she looks, she puts her pants on one leg at a time. There are millions of beautiful women in the world. Putting a female on a pedestal only makes you more nervous. RELAX! Whether we like to admit it or not, beautiful women are a dime a dozen.

  4) DO NOT ADDRESS HER AS BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, PRINCESS OR GORGEOUS!!! This is PLAYED OUT!! Especially you men of NYC!! We KNOW you say it to EVERY female that walks by. We don’t take you seriously and it’s actually a major turn-off. However, this is not to be confused with telling her that she IS beautiful. But save that for later. We like hearing it unexpectedly :)

5) If nothing else works…she’s making you nervous, you can’t think of anything smooth or witty to say..but homegirl is just TOO gorgeous to let her walk away…just do this. Go up to her, smile and say “Hello…can I introduce myself?” It’s a simple and straight-forward way to let her know that she caught your attention. Not beasty, not corny-just genuine. And just the way we like it :)

There you have it fellas. 5 simple yet helpful ways to approach a female who has caught your eye. (But don’t let me catch y’all using these to manipulate!!)

What you think, guys?? Does this seem easy enough? 

Ladies…what approach gets your attention? What methods turn you off??

Pay Attention

All the best,

Duncan

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10 Rules To Follow For Your Next Night Out...Written By @MyNameIsDuncan

Posted by MyNameIsDuncan at 10:36 AM #ohyoufancyhuh, blog, guest blogger No Responses »
Jul 292010

10 Rules To Follow For Your Next Night Out By Duncan

Pay Attention

For the past 9 months, I have been getting my money by serving people drinks. There are some constant annoyances I deal with from patrons while I’m behind the bar, so I would like to take the time to address these issues now. If you go out, especially if you’re guilty of one or more of the following, I urge you to STOP…and immediately.

1)First and foremost, you gotta tip!! Someone is doing a service for you. Waiters, delivery guys, nail technicians, hair stylists and bartenders should ALL be tipped.

A) It’s rude not to do so. If times are that hard, then you should stay your ass home with your friends and get a bottle. No shame in that.

B) Bartenders remember who tips and who doesn’t. Ask any bartender you know. People who don’t tip get served last.

If you’re tipping, you won’t wait long for drinks, even on a busy night. There’s a direct correlation between how well you tip and how strong your drinks are. Depending on the bartender (and house policy), tipping well might even result in free drinks or free shots.

Bottom Line: Take care of your bartenders and they will take care of you.

*On a related note, do NOT ask the bartender to “hook you up” or “make it real strong” on your first drink. Bartenders hear that and think “they won’t be tipping”. Order your drink, leave a tip and a good bartender will hook you up from there on out. No words necessary.

2) Please remember, especially when it’s really busy, there are only 2 or 3 bartenders for X amount of patrons. We move along down the line, or as we make eye contact. We will get to you, I promise. Getting hostile will only prolong your wait time. Threatening to throw a drink will not get you served any quicker. Actually throwing  a drink will have you escorted out of the establishment immediately.

A) If the bartender takes a while to get to you, when they finally get there, don’t bitch about how long it took them to get to you. I literally had to say to someone last night, “I’m here now…do you want to argue about it or do you want to order a drink?” They kept bitching so I walked away. They did not get served.

3) Don’t call the bartender over and then say “ummm…” while you decide what you want to drink. ESPECIALLY when it’s busy. Have your order ready before you demand the bartender’s attention.

4) While the bartender is getting your drink, have your money out. Don’t wait for them to come back to you to…and then search through your purse to find your cash.

5) I’ve had people walk in and say “I’ll have a beer.” When I ask “What kind?” they say, “Any kind.” This irks me like you wouldn’t believe. I’m nice…I’ll make you choose…some bartenders will hand over the most expensive beer. Know what you want to drink…if you’re old enough to be in a bar, act like it.

6) This one is especially for women…if you come to a bar with your boo, and your bartender is a girl, please try to refrain from letting your insecurities spill out onto your face. We don’t want your man. Are we flirting and smiling? That’s our job…if you’re mad/jealous he’s giving us money, then keep his ass inside, or don’t come out with him. But please, don’t be a Debbie Downer and ruin his night.

7) Don’t come into a bar asking if we can make a drink you had at T.G.I.Friday’s. Every restaurant and almost every bar have “Specialty Cocktails” or “Signature Drinks”. If you know what’s in a drink, a bartender can make it for you. But PLEASE, don’t come in with an attitude because we don’t have Friday’s drink menu memorized. “But they made it at Friday’s”…Whelp…take ya ass back to Friday’s then….

8) If you’re in a bar with loud noise and/or loud music, do not whisper your drink order. Do not cover your mouth and then speak. Don’t yell AT the bartender, but make yourself heard!!!

9) Do NOT order one drink at a time unless you ONLY want one drink. Give us your order in full, if we need to clarify, we will definitely do so.

10) Please and Thank You’s go a LONG way. NEVER say “GIMMIE a vodka cranberry.” No, I will give you a swift punch in the mouth.

At the end of the day, bartenders do not HAVE to serve you. Nasty attitudes, rude comments, banging on the bar, etc, etc, etc are only hurting yourself. We are the ones in control of getting you f*cked up. Would you speak that way to someone serving you your food??? If so, I guarantee you’ve eaten some bodily fluids before…and if I might say so myself…rightly so!

Some of these probably seem like common sense…I know…but for some reason…it’s not nearly as common as you’d think.

To my bartenders…did I miss anything? What are your biggest pet peeves when you’re behind the bar?

To my drinkers (I love y’all)..what irritates you about bartenders?

Let me know..Let me know..

Goodbye for now.

Duncan

*Special shout to @ViolaNilePR, @Dammara & my Twitter-less girl, Bre for their input!! :)

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HAUTE HUMP DAY WITH @GYPSYTEARZ “JUST FOR ME”

Posted by Rahim The Dream at 3:25 PM #ohyoufancyhuh, black movies, blog, guest blogger, gypsy tearz, hump day 3 Responses »
Jul 282010

You know how the song go.

The year was 1997! I was thirteen ready to join the silky Order of the Creamy Crack, the Just for Me Lodge.  “Finally” I said to myself no more ribbons, barrettes, and my mom waking my ass up every morning to do my thick curly hair.  No more corn rows, using DAX on my scalp, or combing down my baby hairs! The most important thing I will not miss is when she would comb my hair with what I like to call the “IRON FIST” being tender headed did not matter, “Beauty is Pain” she always told me. At that point I didn’t care, I was going to be like those happy girls in the Just for Me commercials.

“Just for Me” I kept singing on Church Avenue as my mother and I walked to the Beauty Supply store.  “Super, Regular, Lye, No-Lye, and So-di-um Hy-drox-ide???” “What in the world? I thought to myself but I shrugged it off because I was going be like that smiling girl on the box. “$5.99 please” said the Asian beauty supply owner. I just kept singing “Just for Me” until it was finally time to succumb to the Creamy Crack Gods and sacrifice my kink to the Supreme Priestess Madame CJ Walker. I kept tugging on my mom to walk a bit faster to get back to the house. We finally made it after her pit stop to the fresh vegetable market, Bobby’s, my aunt’s house because she made bouillon for my mom and of course being Haitian and all she had to catch up on all the family gossip and speak about politics 0_o, and the check cashing around the corner.

I dropped all the bags and ran to the kitchen to open the “treasure chest.” “Ok let’s see here…a container of a creamy substance, wooden stick, gloves, activator, and base.” Everything seemed to be there from what I examined. My mother was too through with me. So I finally sat in the chair and my mother parted my hair in four sections and applied the creamy crack from front to back. “Mommy it burns!” “UM PA TE DI OU WAP SUFRIR POU LE BEAUTE!” Translation for all my non-Creole speaking readers “Didn’t I tell you will suffer for beauty” and boy she was not lying. 15 minutes had past of the sizzling transformation and my hair was so long I’m taking if I had to put in a weave I would have an 18 inch 1B. My mom put the rollers in my hair and I had all grey rollers in my hair (ladies you know the color coded system). Ok time for the dryer the part I was once excited for but over the years dreaded. 2 HOURS LATER!!! We took the rollers out and bam! I was flowing like the Nile River. I was feeling myself in the worst way looking into the mirror every chance I got, it was quite ridiculous now that I think about it but it wouldn’t last for long.

Fast forward to 2008, about 100 relaxers later, your girl went through some experiences with her addiction to creamy crack. Colored, bleached, cut, weaved, braided you name it I did it to my hair.  I got so out of hand that I began to see my once beautiful thick hair turn into a skinny frivolous entity. “What has my hair become?” At that point my edges were suffering like crazy all you saw was my scalp. That was a turning point for me as I look at my childhood photos of a happier time when my scalp wasn’t waging war with chemicals. So the next morning I had an appointment at Impulse Salon in Jamaica, NY and I had the usual wash and set but as I sat under the dryer I had a eureka moment. After frustration in being the hair salon for damn near five hours and the heat blasted on my scalp, I went to my stylist and told her to give me a Cesar. She looked so perplexed as if I asked her to solve Einstein’s theory of relativity. She refused to do insisting that I stay in the Order of the Creamy Crack but I refused and gave her money for her services and walked out the establishment.

“Ok if she will not cut my hair I know who will” I said to myself will driving to my house. You see my cousin Fritz is a barber as a side hustle so I knew I could hustle him to cutting my hair. It was like taking candy from a baby ;) . As I sat in the chair I saw all of my hair on the floor. It was the most liberating experiences in my life. All the chemicals, stress, and bad relationships were swept into the garbage can. Did I mention I did this liberating act while my mom was in Haiti :/ ? When she came back from her month long trip and saw me she put on the biggest production NY had seen since the great theatrical play Cats. “ Wap tiyrem Mezami Bon Dieur!… Esque ou malade ou met dim sou gayen cancer… gelen ou reme fe?” translation “Are you trying to kill me… O My God?… Are you sick? Do you have cancer..you can tell me?… or is it you becoming a lesbian?” Can I state I never laughed so hard in my life.

Yes ladies and gents that was the day your girl went natural! India Arie said it best “I am not my hair.” My mother came to terms with the fact that I was reverting back to my childhood hair practices. Of course I could have done it in stages but my spontaneous nature didn’t think it was dramatic enough. Most of my friends were in shock and really began to see how my brother and I are twins lol. Strangers loved it they thought it was a bold, very forward, and in your face. I just didn’t want to sit under the dryer for 2 hours, burn my scalp, and lose my edges. Yes, I kicked the habit but it wasn’t easy I had to learn a new hair culture.

For the first few months my curls were like Suzie Q coiled and to the point but then began the awkward stages of me not knowing what do to with my hair and the sudden urge to be dramatic again. Unfortunately, to prevent my mother from having a heart attack I promised her I would not cut my hair anymore. So I braided my hair but made sure the Africans were easy on my edges. The limbo phase lasted about a month and then I went to the ultimate temple of all Natural Hair, Miss Jessies Salon in Brooklyn, NY. This establishment taught me everything thing there is to know about natural hair and saved me from the intoxicating pits of the creamy crack. I learned the art of twists, shingling and free forming and from there I knew I was a natural sister for life.

The moral of this story is your hair is like a pride possession. Treat it as your next of kin. Going natural was the best possible solution for me but it may not be for you. By no way is this a subliminal message to convert you to the natural hair movement, or maybe it is :D , but I will say that your hair being in its natural state gives you room for versatility and HAIR FREEDOM AND SALVATION. I go from straight to curly any time I want J I even bleached my hair successfully and it hasn’t fallen out :D ! Until next week CIAO! @Gypsytearz

My favorite Natural Hair Care Products

Miss Jessies- Crème De La Curl Cleansing Shampoo, Crème De La Crème Conditioner Curly Buttercrème, Rapid Recovery Deep Treatment, and Super Sweetback Treatment www.missjessies.com

Curls- Champagne & Caviar Curl Elixir (Hair Oil Blend for Sheen & Hair Growth) www.curls.biz

Kinky Curly- Knot Today http://kinky-curly.com

Gypsy Tearz

Gypsy Tearz

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Choose Happiness: A Black Woman's Perspective On Interracial Dating

Posted by Rahim The Dream at 4:39 PM black movies, blog, dark butts, everyday blogs, guest blogger, rahim the dream, relationships, removing friends on facebook 2 Responses »
Jul 272010

Choose HAPPINESS over anything else…INTERRACIAL DATING!

This looks like Fort Greene Park

I LOVE seeing people who are comfortable with whomever they have chosen to date or marry.  You should NEVER look at a person because of their race and say “I can’t date this person because he or she isn’t Caucasian, African-American, Hispanic, etc.

I continue to see interracial couples being side-eyed or even stared at on the train, bus, at restaurants, just everywhere.  I really get annoyed for them because I don’t get the big deal.  The ONLY issue I have is for example if lets say an African-American person says” I only date white people or I only date Hispanics because blacks are just NO good”.  Now statements like that make my skin crawl.

My cousin came to NYC from London with his Caucasian girlfriend. People were literally turning their heads to look at them.  I was happy to see that it didn’t affect them.  Thinking back it affected me more because I would just think “What exactly is the problem?”  They are two people that are in love and enjoying life.

A situation happened to me freshmen year at Pace University.  I met an Italian guy and the chemistry was crazy. We would talk on the phone all the time and went out a few times.  We had good times together and he really made it seem like it would go further.   One time when he mentioned that his family didn’t approve with him dating outside of his race.  He then asked me how my family felt and I told him “I’ve been raised to NOT see COLOR or RACE.  He sounded very shocked.  As time went on he started to distance himself without a reason being directly told to me.  Eventually, we both transferred to different schools and things just faded out.

Years passed and recently we re-connected through facebook.  He was very excited to hear from me.  He set up a day for us to go out, the day came and he was nowhere to be found.  He would then hit me u saying things like “I’m sorry I’ve been busy at work”, “Don’t think I don’t want to see you because I do”, “We need to finish what we started at Pace University” and “You’re just so beautiful”.  All those words would come out of his mouth BUT NO action was taken.

I started seeing a “Caucasian” girl posting comments on his page, “you’re my new favorite guy”, and “I’m so excited to hang out”.  Then it HIT me, he would LOVE to go out with me BUT it all goes back to his family’s approval.  So why bother to lead me on? NOT once but twice.  I sent him a message telling him he’s exactly how he was at Pace University.  He wants to taste but afraid to get fully involved.  And instead of him being REAL he just ran away from the issue. I also told him I know that the fact that I’m African-American would be a BIG NO-NO in his family’s book. He NEVER responded which made me know for sure that my feelings were right.

At the end of the day HAPPINESS should not be based on color or race.  You can’t stop who you like or fall in love with.  Even if at first your family does not approve, seeing you happy will make them happy.

“BE TRUE, BE YOU, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS WHEN IT COMES TO BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE”

_simplyvee_

Written and Directed by _SimplyVee_

This post on Interracial Dating has 80+ Comments! Click here.

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You Just Got LeBron James'ed...Written by @DrJayJack X @Rahim_TheDream

Posted by Rahim The Dream at 9:06 PM #ohyoufancyhuh, #payHomage, Celebrities, Celebs. Funny, Dwyane Wade, Rev Rah, The Clinic, blog, guest blogger, relationships, removing friends on facebook 4 Responses »
Jul 252010

I think I'm taking my talents to Alicia Keys.

I can’t see why any man is mad at Swizz Beatz for what he did.  Actually, I can, he’s probably not the highest on my list of people I’ve sign off on.  I wouldn’t actually admit this anywhere but here, but… LeBron James going to Miami has nothing on Swizz Beatz leaving Mashonda for Alicia Keys.  So on Mother’s Day 2008, Swizz Beatz sat at his dining room table as Mashonda opened her Mother’s Day card and said, “Baby, I have something to tell you, I’m f*cking Alicia Keys.”  (If I was sleeping with Alicia Keys, I’d tell everyone I know even my mama.)

I can think of several times in life when I have made The Decision.  High school, I’d date a chick, find a better chick, and break up with the old one on BlackPlanet.  Now this type of thing happens every day and we just look over it.  And in addition to that, there’s always getting Amare’d, when you leave a good girl for a bottom chick.  You might have thought she was going to throw some D’s on it, but all you got was two A’s and a big a*s thigh.

Here’s a practical example of doing the LeBron and making The Decision.  The Let Out – You know that when the club ends and you are trying to find beats, you will leave the chick you talked to all night, to go to the woman who gives you the best chance to win.  Let me tell you something about women, if you got that girl because you make six figures, drive a Mercedes, and have a big house in Connecticut, I have no clue what you are going to do when the Senior VP shows up at Greenhouse in a helicopter and whisks her away to the Hamptons.  I feel like the jury is still out on Brad Pitt, I still think Jennifer Anniston is a bad b*tch.  And by b*tch, I mean that she is a shrewd, complaining all the time, always got something to say about something that her man has to do, woman; fortunately the prefix bad means, she’s good looking.

However, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey, Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union, Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni, these are all examples of people who dumped their current chick and went with the better team to win.  Personally, I think Selita has a huge forehead.

My whole point here was to point out to you that although sports fans may feel like LeBron did the right thing, some may feel like he did Cleveland dirty, and some people don’t care where LeBron is because the Lakers are still going to win the championship anyway, however, we do the same thing every day.  Every day we make decisions that put us in a better position than where we were before.  It’s like they say, all is fair in Love & Basketball.

>>>>>>>Rahim walks in, while Jay is writing. Listens to the beat…starts boppin his head, then drops the following verse: <<<<<<<<<

You’re horrible, Dr. Jay, for breaking up with a girlfriend on Blackplanet. What about if she decided to not check her account for a few days?
Dr Jay’s ex (voicemail):  Jay, This is _____. I don’t understand why you haven’t been calling me, or coming to school all week. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?
Dr Jay (to himself):  She just doesn’t get it. I clearly sent her a blackplanet message. 
Ah, Who am I to talk, I didn’t break up with a girl face to face until college. When I was done with you in high school, I would have one of my home girls do it for me, or have them pick up the phone when you called me to ask you how you felt about not ever calling me again.  #Bawse.
Rahim’s ex: hello?
Rahim’s homegirl: yeah?
Rahim’s ex: hey, is Rahim there?
Rahim’s homegirl: yeah, but he said you guys aren’t going out anymore. Check your myspace.

Decisions…

Decisions, with respect to relationships are interesting.
This old lurky wise man once told me that men are like “monkey bars” to women. They hang onto the current one with one arm loose, with plans to swing to and hang on the next bar that gets them closer to their destination. This might translate to women as well, but i did say he was lurky, so he might have actually been talking about girls.
I digress.
Ultimately, people don’t have a problem with folks moving on, but they often have issues with:

How they did it:  “I got no advance notice…” “You cheated on me!” “I can’t believe you let my frat hit it!” etc.
Insecurities:  “I don’t think I’ll be able to get anyone or anything like this again…”
Investment: “I spent all my rent money on your handbag, heaux!” or “do you have any idea how many vaginas opportunities i missed out on being faithful to you?”
Lebron’s ex Dan Gilbert seemed to be angry on all accounts. Actually, he had plenty of notice so eff that.  Yes, he definitely doesn’t think he’ll be able to find another player like LeBron again. You think he woulda bitched over Leon Powe?  #NoDisrespect.  The Cavs have definitely invested a lot of time, money, etc into BronBron, but he’s given them plenty of handbags a great return.

So, um, scratch all of that. I don’t think either missed out on any vj in the past 7 years, unless it was by choice.  I’m not saying any names, Dan. You seem like the type that…


Anyway, in conclusion, everyone has to know their own worth, and be able to adapt to change. Everyone wants to win, so  they’ll go where they see the “W.” Relationships and friendships are an at-will agreements. People flip the bird and move on with or without notice #everydayB.

HD w/ @GYPSYTEARZ: IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT...

Posted by Gypsy Tearz at 11:40 PM beyonce, blog, cheating, guest blogger, gypsy tearz, haute hump day, hump day, relationships 7 Responses »
Jul 202010

Haute Hump Day with @GYPSYTEARZ presents:

IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT!!! REALLY NOW???

written by:

Gypsy Tearz

A dawn of an era! The single ladies anthem was birthed by the rising queen of Pop R&B Mrs. Beyonce Knowles- Carter. For the record, every time that song comes at any function, I am usually the first person on the dance floor letting the infectious melody run through my body as if I’m Queen Bey herself performing for audience.  This empowering song has brought single women that justice that they were waiting to serve to their male counter parts. But!!! Does that song give a sense of entitlement of marriage and a ring to ALL single ladies?

Shockingly enough I think it has! Some women have used this song as the Holy Grail into securing an everlasting life of marital bliss. Well I am here to tell you there is more to it than catchy tune and a mesmerizing hook.

Last weekend, I went to my boyfriend’s best friend’s wedding and it was spectacular. You could really tell that they were in love. It was a traditional Haitian wedding complete with a huge Catholic church, over 200 guests, old Haitian men asking for Barbancourt 5 star, and memorable reception at Jericho Terrace.  Now the reception was off the hook until I heard that infectious song again! O boy it’s that time again, I thought to myself.  As I looked up the beautiful bride was forcing me to get up to catch the bouquet to “Single Ladies”.  Ok so I appeased the bride, I walked onto to the dance floor, and stood there with 30 other women basically foaming at the mouth to catch the beautiful arrangement. 1-2-3 “TOSS”… Alas, my friend captured the bouquet but suddenly, next thing I know I wasn’t at a wedding anymore I was watching Wrestlemania! Finally, the bouquet “champion” rose from the pile of sequins and organza. Never in my life did I see group come to blows for flowers lol! Is that what is going to make him put a ring on it?

Here are 5 things I think are essential into getting him to “put a ring on it”~ this is based solely on experiences.

5.  You have to be domesticated to a certain degree!

You can still be an independent woman and know how to cook and clean! My mother always taught me how to be independent but she also told me you have to learn how to feed and clean after your man because that is a special ingredient for a lasting relationship. The key to a man’s heart is his stomach so you better learn how to make his favorite dish to lure him into getting whatever you want! He will be mesmerized that you have successfully mastered his Mama’s biscuits. Also not being a slob helps promote your “wife-ism.”

4. Let him be the man in the relationship!

Tradition! Tradition! Tradition! Sometimes you have to let him be the provider and the protector…besides being dainty always comes natural to you! You have to let him honor you being his woman! Let him open the door, pull out your seat, wine and dine you, buy you flowers, and let him court you with his chivalry! CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD LADIES! I am a witness to it right now in my life ;)

3. Learn to listen clearly!

Take the Q-tip and make sure you got every last buildup in your ear! (((Pulls out bullhorn))) Don’t try to interpret what he is saying and morph it into what you want to hear! 95% of the time what he says is what he means…the other 5% is for those fronting-ass men that want to play it up for their audience and destroy a good thing!

2.  Don’t try to change him!

No one is perfect! I REPEAT NO ONE IS PERFECT! Why in God’s name would you try to change someone that you were attracted to get with in the first place? Sure he changes the channel while you are watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta to watch lame ass Lebron James announce his is joining the Miami Heat. Or the time he left the toilet seat up and you fell in! But what about that time when you thought he forgot about your birthday and surprised your ass with Gucci Bag and surprise trip to the Bahamas??? Yeah quickly forgot about that right lol! Bottom line relationships are an emotional rollercoaster and you should just enjoy the ride with your mate and evolve into a timeless love affair.

1. If you won’t do it… the next trollup will!

This is self-explanatory and YOU KNOW what I am speaking about! Being a prude will get you NO WHERE! You have to learn how to balance the equilibrium of being a refined Audrey Hepburn to an erotic Pinky! Keep living in the magical world of Disney World if you want to!  #imjustsaying

Listen in no way shape or form am I a relationship aficionado however, I have been learned and experienced enough to know you will not keep or get a man if you keep acting like the Ultimate Warrior at wedding receptions or anywhere for that matter. In order to reach to the altar you must walk the “honest and nurturing aisle of relationship bliss” Until next week…always make sure the hump is hot!!!

Ciao!

Gypsy Tearz

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Operation Blame Canada: Why Drake "Only" Did 462k His First Week

Posted by Rahim The Dream at 7:01 PM #payHomage, Bobby Ray, Drake Sold 447, Drake South Street Seaport Show Riot, FUNNY, Kid Cudi, WTF, amber rose, drake, guest blogger, guru in a coma, kanye west, kanye west working on good ass job 2 Responses »
Jun 282010

Written by @WrinkledTshirt, starring B.o.B. (Bobby Ray), Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Amber Rose, and Wale

Blame Canada

Drake’s first week numbers are in, 462,000 aren’t bad by most

standards but for Hip Hop’s new hero thats a different story.

Many predicted Thank Me Later to sell over a million copies the

first week and to not even sell half of that pretty much means he

floppped better have a good second week. What went wrong?

His buzz was so big he could of sold a blank disc (he said it not

me). Co-signs from almost every big name in music. Can’t blame

the leak, every album leaks. Maybe its something bigger than we

all think, maybe Hip Hop didn’t want Drake to succeed? Or was it

in front of our eyes the whole time?

It’s Monday June 14, 2010 just one day before Thank Me Later

releases, Kid Cudi, Wale, and B.O.B are all together in poorly lit

room, they aren’t making music or talking much, just waiting.

About five minutes pass by and a cell phone rings. The ringtone

is “Power” by Kanye West. They all jump up with a sense of

urgency.

Kid Cudi:

Thats the Ye’ phone ringing.

Wale:

The Ye’ phone?

Kid Cudi:

Yeah the Ye’ phone like the Bat phone the Ye’ phone.

B.O.B

So answer it.

Kid Cudi:

I’m trying to, I just can’t get it out of my pockets.

The phone begins to ring louder.

Wale:

Hurry up!

Kid Cudi:

Help

Wale:

Help how the hell are we suppose to help you?

Phone gets louder

Kid Cudi:

You guys pull the pocket towards you

then I’ll reach in and get the phone

Wale and B.O.B reluctantly pull Kid Cudi’s jean pocket with all

their strength as Cudi manages to pull the phone loose.

Phone stops ringing, they all have a nervous look on their face.

Then the phone rings again playing “Power” this time they

quickly answer and turn on the speaker, on the other end of the

phone is Kanye West at an unknown location somewhere in

Hawaii.

Kanye West:

Aye fam, what the fuck I don’t call any

phone number twice especially back to back.

B.O.B & Wale:

Cudi’s fault!!

Kid Cudi:

My bad Broski.

Kanye West:

You got the phone stuck in your jeans again???

The room is silent

Kanye West:

You guys couldn’t put the phone anywhere else?

How about Wale’s dreads or B.O.B’s guitar.

B.O.B:

It’s Bobby Ra….

Before he can finish Kanye West interrupts him

Kanye West:

B.O.B I’m really happy for I’m gonna let you finish,

but Malcom X had the greatest name change of all time.

Wale and KId Cudi break out in laughter.

Kid Cudi:

You got Taylor Swifted.

Wale:

Your lucky OJ’s in jail you know what he does to blondes.

Kid Cudi

Still gotta look out for Tiger he’s out of rehab.

Wale and Kid Cudi stop laughing.

Kanye West:

Whatever….. Operation “Blame Canada” is in its final stages.

Drake can not sell a million albums his first week.

Wale:

Why not?

Kanye West:

Why….why? Cause I never sold a million record’s my first

week

and on top of that all three of you combined still haven’t sold a

million records. And you had Lady Gaga on your first single.

If you think your not shit now, imagine if he sells a million

records?

You’ll be selling knock off handbags then, thats why fam!

Kid Cudi:

He’s right, before Drake came around stealing all the features

and shit an average rapper like you could survive.

Wale:

I’m the best average rapper around.

Kanye West:

Phase one, sabotage the video for his biggest single “Best I

Ever Had”….. check! Phase two, sell him a leftover beat from

808′s and HeartBreak followed up by coming out of hiding

and leaking a new single….check! Now for phase three, make

sure he doesn’t sell a million records.

B.O.B

So whats the plan?

Kanye West:

I need ya’ll to go down to South Street Seaport for Drake’s

performance tomorrow and make sure he doesn’t get on

stage.

Wale:

We just can’t go down there people will notice.

Kanye West:

Just tell them your Kyle Barker from Living SIngle

The next day June 15th Southstreet Seaport is packed with

20,000 plus Drake fans. It appears what is about to be his biggest

performance ever is only a matter of minutes before it goes down.

Kid Cudi disguised in baggy pants along with Wale dress as Kyle

from living single and B.O.B as a Desperado with his guitar. They

all give each other a glance and begin to toss whatever they can

get they’re hands on inciting a riot. Then B.O.B makes a call on

his phone.

B.O.B

(In a spanish accent)

Hello 911, I’ve just been hit with a chair I’m at

Southstreet seaport its crazy down here ….

Kid Cudi yells from the background and Drake said “Fuck The

NYPD Free Weezy”

911 Operator

We’ll send units over now.

As she hangs up the phone you can hear her say “damn rappers”

A week has gone by and Drake’s first week numbers are coming

in B.O.B, Kid Cudi, and Wale are in the same room as they were

the week prior when speaking to Kanye West. A cellphone rings

playing Kanye West’s “Power” B.O.B reaches in his guitar and

pulls out the phone then places it on speaker its Kanye West still

at an unknown location in Hawaii.

Kanye West:

What the fuck is wrong with you

guys he went Platinum still.

They all look stunned.

Amber Rose with Kanye West at an unknown location in Hawaii

yells from the background “In Canada”

Kanye West:

What’s Platinum in Canada?

Kid Cudi:

100,000

Kanye West

Oh fuck it, good job then guys

THE END

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