By @GypsyTearz

Editor’s Note: Guess whose back…This one is for the ladies, obviously. Don’t worry I will even this out with a DreamGirl post soon enough.

HAUTE HUMP DAY WITH @GYPSYTEARZ

If the Makeup doesn’t fit, you must acquit!

“Summer Summer Summer Time….Let’s just sit back and unwind!” It’s that time of year ladies and gents, the time for liberation and expression of culture, fashion, and beauty in New York.  Let me set the scene! It was a hot and balmy evening on 40^th and 8^th I was walking towards the fabulous SKY Room when I encountered a “colorful” New York character. She was colorful because she appeared to be from Ringling Brothers’ Barnum and Bailey’s Circus. Can you imagine, foundation two shades lighter, bright red lipstick wrong skin color, and runny eyeshadow!  This individual needed a makeup intervention!

First thing ladies, and most of my fellas will agree, less is more! You must master the true art of makeup application that will enhance your beauty not hide it.  So back away from the rouge and put down the runny mascara. Just ask yourself do you have the case of makeupgonewronginitis? Symptoms include: garish blush, overdrawn lip liner, spidery lashes, mismatched foundation, over bronzing, etc. Please note symptoms may worsen if not treated with proper care.

It is time to give yourself a good hard look in the mirror and think about your beauty/makeup regimen. Here are some helpful tips/products to maximize your beautiful features in less than 10 minutes. These can be used b my makeup aficionados to my novice beauties.

1. After you have cleansed and moisturized your face, apply a foundation primer. This gives a nice, even canvas for application and provides a smooth finish as well as keeping your make up on hours longer than without a primer. Gypsy’s Picks: MAC Prep+Prime Skin, Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer, Bare Essentuals “Prime Time” Foundation Primer.

2. Apply your foundation. Make sure the shade matches your neck and smooth the foundation down your neck to avoid the dreaded foundation line at your chin. Gypsy’s Picks: Makeup Forever HD Foundation, MAC Studio Fix or Sculpt SPF 15

3. Apply blush from the apples of your cheeks to your hair line. Make sure you are making small strokes with your brush so you do not end up with a blush streak on your face. You can also use a darker blush or bronzer under your cheek bone to give the illusion of a more defined cheek. Gypsy’s Picks: NARS Cosmetics in Deep Throat, Dolce Vita, Exhibit A, Taj Mahal, Taos

4. Apply eye shadow primer to your eye lids to hold your eye shadow on all day as well as prevent creases. Then, apply a light colored eye shadow under your brow bone and in the inner corner of your eye to create a lifted brow and wide awake look. Then apply a mid tone shade to your lid from the lash line to the crease. Next, apply a darker shade in the crease. Gypsy’s Picks: TooFaced Shadow Insurance and Urban Decay Eye Primer Potion

5. Fill in your brows. Brows will always give the appearance of a more put together, defined look. To shape your brows use a pencil or powder with a brow brush. Gypsy’s Picks: Benefit Cosmetics Brow Set and MAC Cosmetics Brow Set

6. Apply eye liner to your upper and lower lid. Get as close to your lash line as possible and make small strokes for a straighter line. Gypsy’s Picks: Urban Decay Glide-on Eye Pencil or MAC Cosmetics Fluidline

7. Curl lashes and apply mascara to top and bottom lashes in a zig zag motion to ease lashes creating a fuller look. Gypsy’s Picks: Cover Girl Lash Blast

8. Apply lip liner and/or gloss/lipstick and you are done! Gypsy’s Picks: MAC Cosmetics in Viva La Glam VI or Chai or Underage, NARS Cosmetics in Orgasm or Opelia

Until Next time CIAO

LOVE @GYPSYTEARZ Check out my site: www.gypsyartistrymakeup.com Follow us on twitter: @gypsytearz and @gypsyartistry

You know how the song go.

The year was 1997! I was thirteen ready to join the silky Order of the Creamy Crack, the Just for Me Lodge.  “Finally” I said to myself no more ribbons, barrettes, and my mom waking my ass up every morning to do my thick curly hair.  No more corn rows, using DAX on my scalp, or combing down my baby hairs! The most important thing I will not miss is when she would comb my hair with what I like to call the “IRON FIST” being tender headed did not matter, “Beauty is Pain” she always told me. At that point I didn’t care, I was going to be like those happy girls in the Just for Me commercials.

“Just for Me” I kept singing on Church Avenue as my mother and I walked to the Beauty Supply store.  “Super, Regular, Lye, No-Lye, and So-di-um Hy-drox-ide???” “What in the world? I thought to myself but I shrugged it off because I was going be like that smiling girl on the box. “$5.99 please” said the Asian beauty supply owner. I just kept singing “Just for Me” until it was finally time to succumb to the Creamy Crack Gods and sacrifice my kink to the Supreme Priestess Madame CJ Walker. I kept tugging on my mom to walk a bit faster to get back to the house. We finally made it after her pit stop to the fresh vegetable market, Bobby’s, my aunt’s house because she made bouillon for my mom and of course being Haitian and all she had to catch up on all the family gossip and speak about politics 0_o, and the check cashing around the corner.

I dropped all the bags and ran to the kitchen to open the “treasure chest.” “Ok let’s see here…a container of a creamy substance, wooden stick, gloves, activator, and base.” Everything seemed to be there from what I examined. My mother was too through with me. So I finally sat in the chair and my mother parted my hair in four sections and applied the creamy crack from front to back. “Mommy it burns!” “UM PA TE DI OU WAP SUFRIR POU LE BEAUTE!” Translation for all my non-Creole speaking readers “Didn’t I tell you will suffer for beauty” and boy she was not lying. 15 minutes had past of the sizzling transformation and my hair was so long I’m taking if I had to put in a weave I would have an 18 inch 1B. My mom put the rollers in my hair and I had all grey rollers in my hair (ladies you know the color coded system). Ok time for the dryer the part I was once excited for but over the years dreaded. 2 HOURS LATER!!! We took the rollers out and bam! I was flowing like the Nile River. I was feeling myself in the worst way looking into the mirror every chance I got, it was quite ridiculous now that I think about it but it wouldn’t last for long.

Fast forward to 2008, about 100 relaxers later, your girl went through some experiences with her addiction to creamy crack. Colored, bleached, cut, weaved, braided you name it I did it to my hair.  I got so out of hand that I began to see my once beautiful thick hair turn into a skinny frivolous entity. “What has my hair become?” At that point my edges were suffering like crazy all you saw was my scalp. That was a turning point for me as I look at my childhood photos of a happier time when my scalp wasn’t waging war with chemicals. So the next morning I had an appointment at Impulse Salon in Jamaica, NY and I had the usual wash and set but as I sat under the dryer I had a eureka moment. After frustration in being the hair salon for damn near five hours and the heat blasted on my scalp, I went to my stylist and told her to give me a Cesar. She looked so perplexed as if I asked her to solve Einstein’s theory of relativity. She refused to do insisting that I stay in the Order of the Creamy Crack but I refused and gave her money for her services and walked out the establishment.

“Ok if she will not cut my hair I know who will” I said to myself will driving to my house. You see my cousin Fritz is a barber as a side hustle so I knew I could hustle him to cutting my hair. It was like taking candy from a baby . As I sat in the chair I saw all of my hair on the floor. It was the most liberating experiences in my life. All the chemicals, stress, and bad relationships were swept into the garbage can. Did I mention I did this liberating act while my mom was in Haiti :/ ? When she came back from her month long trip and saw me she put on the biggest production NY had seen since the great theatrical play Cats. “ Wap tiyrem Mezami Bon Dieur!… Esque ou malade ou met dim sou gayen cancer… gelen ou reme fe?” translation “Are you trying to kill me… O My God?… Are you sick? Do you have cancer..you can tell me?… or is it you becoming a lesbian?” Can I state I never laughed so hard in my life.

Yes ladies and gents that was the day your girl went natural! India Arie said it best “I am not my hair.” My mother came to terms with the fact that I was reverting back to my childhood hair practices. Of course I could have done it in stages but my spontaneous nature didn’t think it was dramatic enough. Most of my friends were in shock and really began to see how my brother and I are twins lol. Strangers loved it they thought it was a bold, very forward, and in your face. I just didn’t want to sit under the dryer for 2 hours, burn my scalp, and lose my edges. Yes, I kicked the habit but it wasn’t easy I had to learn a new hair culture.

For the first few months my curls were like Suzie Q coiled and to the point but then began the awkward stages of me not knowing what do to with my hair and the sudden urge to be dramatic again. Unfortunately, to prevent my mother from having a heart attack I promised her I would not cut my hair anymore. So I braided my hair but made sure the Africans were easy on my edges. The limbo phase lasted about a month and then I went to the ultimate temple of all Natural Hair, Miss Jessies Salon in Brooklyn, NY. This establishment taught me everything thing there is to know about natural hair and saved me from the intoxicating pits of the creamy crack. I learned the art of twists, shingling and free forming and from there I knew I was a natural sister for life.

The moral of this story is your hair is like a pride possession. Treat it as your next of kin. Going natural was the best possible solution for me but it may not be for you. By no way is this a subliminal message to convert you to the natural hair movement, or maybe it is , but I will say that your hair being in its natural state gives you room for versatility and HAIR FREEDOM AND SALVATION. I go from straight to curly any time I want J I even bleached my hair successfully and it hasn’t fallen out ! Until next week CIAO! @Gypsytearz

My favorite Natural Hair Care Products

Miss Jessies- Crème De La Curl Cleansing Shampoo, Crème De La Crème Conditioner Curly Buttercrème, Rapid Recovery Deep Treatment, and Super Sweetback Treatment www.missjessies.com

Curls- Champagne & Caviar Curl Elixir (Hair Oil Blend for Sheen & Hair Growth) www.curls.biz

Kinky Curly- Knot Today http://kinky-curly.com

Gypsy Tearz

Gypsy Tearz

Haute Hump Day with @GYPSYTEARZ presents:

IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT!!! REALLY NOW???

written by:

Gypsy Tearz

A dawn of an era! The single ladies anthem was birthed by the rising queen of Pop R&B Mrs. Beyonce Knowles- Carter. For the record, every time that song comes at any function, I am usually the first person on the dance floor letting the infectious melody run through my body as if I’m Queen Bey herself performing for audience.  This empowering song has brought single women that justice that they were waiting to serve to their male counter parts. But!!! Does that song give a sense of entitlement of marriage and a ring to ALL single ladies?

Shockingly enough I think it has! Some women have used this song as the Holy Grail into securing an everlasting life of marital bliss. Well I am here to tell you there is more to it than catchy tune and a mesmerizing hook.

Last weekend, I went to my boyfriend’s best friend’s wedding and it was spectacular. You could really tell that they were in love. It was a traditional Haitian wedding complete with a huge Catholic church, over 200 guests, old Haitian men asking for Barbancourt 5 star, and memorable reception at Jericho Terrace.  Now the reception was off the hook until I heard that infectious song again! O boy it’s that time again, I thought to myself.  As I looked up the beautiful bride was forcing me to get up to catch the bouquet to “Single Ladies”.  Ok so I appeased the bride, I walked onto to the dance floor, and stood there with 30 other women basically foaming at the mouth to catch the beautiful arrangement. 1-2-3 “TOSS”… Alas, my friend captured the bouquet but suddenly, next thing I know I wasn’t at a wedding anymore I was watching Wrestlemania! Finally, the bouquet “champion” rose from the pile of sequins and organza. Never in my life did I see group come to blows for flowers lol! Is that what is going to make him put a ring on it?

Here are 5 things I think are essential into getting him to “put a ring on it”~ this is based solely on experiences.

5.  You have to be domesticated to a certain degree!

You can still be an independent woman and know how to cook and clean! My mother always taught me how to be independent but she also told me you have to learn how to feed and clean after your man because that is a special ingredient for a lasting relationship. The key to a man’s heart is his stomach so you better learn how to make his favorite dish to lure him into getting whatever you want! He will be mesmerized that you have successfully mastered his Mama’s biscuits. Also not being a slob helps promote your “wife-ism.”

4. Let him be the man in the relationship!

Tradition! Tradition! Tradition! Sometimes you have to let him be the provider and the protector…besides being dainty always comes natural to you! You have to let him honor you being his woman! Let him open the door, pull out your seat, wine and dine you, buy you flowers, and let him court you with his chivalry! CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD LADIES! I am a witness to it right now in my life

3. Learn to listen clearly!

Take the Q-tip and make sure you got every last buildup in your ear! (((Pulls out bullhorn))) Don’t try to interpret what he is saying and morph it into what you want to hear! 95% of the time what he says is what he means…the other 5% is for those fronting-ass men that want to play it up for their audience and destroy a good thing!

2.  Don’t try to change him!

No one is perfect! I REPEAT NO ONE IS PERFECT! Why in God’s name would you try to change someone that you were attracted to get with in the first place? Sure he changes the channel while you are watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta to watch lame ass Lebron James announce his is joining the Miami Heat. Or the time he left the toilet seat up and you fell in! But what about that time when you thought he forgot about your birthday and surprised your ass with Gucci Bag and surprise trip to the Bahamas??? Yeah quickly forgot about that right lol! Bottom line relationships are an emotional rollercoaster and you should just enjoy the ride with your mate and evolve into a timeless love affair.

1. If you won’t do it… the next trollup will!

This is self-explanatory and YOU KNOW what I am speaking about! Being a prude will get you NO WHERE! You have to learn how to balance the equilibrium of being a refined Audrey Hepburn to an erotic Pinky! Keep living in the magical world of Disney World if you want to!  #imjustsaying

Listen in no way shape or form am I a relationship aficionado however, I have been learned and experienced enough to know you will not keep or get a man if you keep acting like the Ultimate Warrior at wedding receptions or anywhere for that matter. In order to reach to the altar you must walk the “honest and nurturing aisle of relationship bliss” Until next week…always make sure the hump is hot!!!

Ciao!

Gypsy Tearz