May My Determination & Enthusiasm Be Contagious. (Well Wishes for 2011.)

I’m making a lot of changes for 2011. I’m moving to a new city in a new state for a new year with a new plan. I’m really excited. In the very back of my mind I’m a bit nervous I’ll fail…and I just might…..but I don’t really care. So, that voice gets brushed aside. I’ve got a lot planned and no way will I win ‘em all. I’m okay with that though. 90% or higher success rate over the next 12 months AND learning from my mistakes will be a solid year’s work.

I’m going into the calendar year in which I will turn 25. It’s not until October but it’s still next year and it’s a big milestone birthday. I remember when I was younger I would think about what my life would be like at different ages….so far I am doing allllriiiight. Not perfect, but the path is pretty accurate, the mentality is there and my self has not been lost along the way. But, at *TWENTY-FIVE* I saw myself a little more advanced than I am as of now. Mind you, 25 arrived awfully fast!!! Even at 24, I’m not quite an adult but I’m no kid either. And any behavior as such is SO not cute and not at all acceptable.

I’m excited to make advancements not only academically and in my career, but also to just make healthier lifestyle choices. There’s a gym in my apt complex. I’m going to be in there 4 days a week and I’ve already found a nice yoga & pilates studio near my house that I’m going to be checking out (1st class is free!). Alcohol consumption will be reduced as well. My body will thank me….both immediately and in my 30s and 40s!! #futurecougar.

I’m looking forward to a life that is a bit slower. I want time to relax. Enjoy life. Having more time to read, write, travel and take time for me. Not have to spend it working, commuting and living the metropolitan lifestyle. I’m looking forward to cooking on a much more regular basis. Healthier, cheaper…and to be honest…much more tasty!! (I I feel I must confess I’ve already been tempted by the Krispy Kreme down there…I figure since I’ll be on such good behavior, I’ll deserve to be rewarded and spoiled once in a blue. Oh…there’s a Chipotle too! Smh I digress.)

A healthier lifestyle also includes the people in my life. With that schedule, it would be a shame to put solid physical health to waste by not expunging the mental cancers in my life. We all have them. They might be friends, family members, lovers, ex-lovers, coworkers or even people in your network. We all have those people who drain our energy; drain our spirit. Do what I’m doing: Evaluate…then amend or eradicate. Some relationships take more work than others. Decide if it’s worth it for YOU. Some are…some people, even though not perfect, really contribute to your life, despite being a challenge. Others though, detract from your life and add little to it, all while wreaking havoc on your spirit and mental health. Let yourself be great.

I find that any activities I have difficultly imagining turn out to fall through for various reasons before taking place. I picture myself doing all of these things. I feel a fire in my belly that I haven’t felt in quite a while. A determination I forgot I had.

I’m ready for change. I’m ready for growth. I’m ready for more responsibility. And, most importantly, I’m excited to meet the established, distinguished, grown-up version of Duncan Meredith Brown.

Take some time and think about what you did well this year and what lessons you learned so as not to repeat those same mistakes again. Make sure you’re adding to your legacy, no matter what that may be. Don’t waste time. You’re not getting younger and time moves quicker every.single.year.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!

Love,

Duncan

Don't Be Like Her, Please.

Despite being educated, independent, funny, motivated, beautiful and witty, some BRILLIANT women still do STUPID, STUPID things when it comes to men, sex and love. I can’t really explain why we do it…even as I wrote this list, I knew I was guilty of doing these things in the past, even though I KNOW I know better…

Ladies… stop doing these things and start letting yourself BE GREAT!

Fellas….go ahead and show this to the women in your life: girlfriends, wives, sisters & friends.

So here goes..

(Click below for more)

Editors Note: The Author’s Picture Is Below –Can you read this piece without seeing what she looks like first? —  Rahim

I hear a lot of men complain about women not having the “total package”. The chicks with a gorgeous face and a sloppy body, or a bangin’ body and a gremlin face. Or maybe homegirl is extra bad, but has nothing going on upstairs. A female who has the appearance of a dime, but she’s a bird; too shallow, a gold-digger, rude, etc, etc, etc. (It was this particular post that got my brain thinking this morning…)

Now I don’t knock men for having these complaints about the fairer sex. God knows women have similar hang-ups about men who are “perfect…except for [fill in the blank].” These are not my concerns today. However, I AM calling you men out!! The fellas who complain about women lacking in a major area, yet they front when they find a woman with the total package.

For this post, I can only speak for myself. But I KNOW there are other women out there like myself.

Let me break down my credentials:  I am nearing my 24th birthday. I am a college graduate. I pay all my own bills. I have eyes that change from green, to blue-green to blue/green/yellow and long brown hair that turns blonde from the sunlight. I’m sitting on a 34-26-38 frame, naturally. I am polite, kind and open-minded. I am not impressed by money, fame or status. I can hold my own in any conversation, with any group of people, whether it be sports, music, politics or current events. I read & I write; I’m not afraid to think outside the box, question the norm or speak my mind. I have no real emotional baggage and I don’t have any crazy tendencies. And when I have a special man in my life, I treat him like a KING (both in and out of the bedroom).

Please don’t get it twisted. I NEVER assume everyone wants me. I know I’m not everyone’s type. I am not perfect. I’m no model and I don’t think I’m the “best of the best”. But I do know that I have brains, beauty, personality AND a good heart. Yet men meet me and don’t even want to listen to the intelligent things I have to say. I literally watch someone’s attention float away the minute I begin to discuss anything of substance. So many men that I meet (particularly the men in the Big Apple) would rather wave dollars in my face & feed me compliments on my figure instead of inquiring about my goals and finding out what makes me tick. And then, after a few encounters, none of which lead to me giving up the goods, the calls, texts and invitations begin to get fewer and farther between.

I know I am NOT alone. I know there are women who are smart, kind, sexy as hell and on their grind…….and single. So where is the disconnect? Are men intimidated by a woman they feel is a “great catch”? Or are y’all just frontin’ when you say you want the total package, since the less-attractive, less-intelligent females tend to be a little easier, both literally and figuratively?

Or is it possible that the well-rounded men and the well-rounded women just simply aren’t crossing each other’s paths??

Like my President said…”Let me know….Let me know…”

My Name Is Duncan

Duncan