I think I'm taking my talents to Alicia Keys.

I can’t see why any man is mad at Swizz Beatz for what he did.  Actually, I can, he’s probably not the highest on my list of people I’ve sign off on.  I wouldn’t actually admit this anywhere but here, but… LeBron James going to Miami has nothing on Swizz Beatz leaving Mashonda for Alicia Keys.  So on Mother’s Day 2008, Swizz Beatz sat at his dining room table as Mashonda opened her Mother’s Day card and said, “Baby, I have something to tell you, I’m f*cking Alicia Keys.”  (If I was sleeping with Alicia Keys, I’d tell everyone I know even my mama.)

I can think of several times in life when I have made The Decision.  High school, I’d date a chick, find a better chick, and break up with the old one on BlackPlanet.  Now this type of thing happens every day and we just look over it.  And in addition to that, there’s always getting Amare’d, when you leave a good girl for a bottom chick.  You might have thought she was going to throw some D’s on it, but all you got was two A’s and a big a*s thigh.

Here’s a practical example of doing the LeBron and making The Decision.  The Let Out – You know that when the club ends and you are trying to find beats, you will leave the chick you talked to all night, to go to the woman who gives you the best chance to win.  Let me tell you something about women, if you got that girl because you make six figures, drive a Mercedes, and have a big house in Connecticut, I have no clue what you are going to do when the Senior VP shows up at Greenhouse in a helicopter and whisks her away to the Hamptons.  I feel like the jury is still out on Brad Pitt, I still think Jennifer Anniston is a bad b*tch.  And by b*tch, I mean that she is a shrewd, complaining all the time, always got something to say about something that her man has to do, woman; fortunately the prefix bad means, she’s good looking.

However, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey, Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union, Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni, these are all examples of people who dumped their current chick and went with the better team to win.  Personally, I think Selita has a huge forehead.

My whole point here was to point out to you that although sports fans may feel like LeBron did the right thing, some may feel like he did Cleveland dirty, and some people don’t care where LeBron is because the Lakers are still going to win the championship anyway, however, we do the same thing every day.  Every day we make decisions that put us in a better position than where we were before.  It’s like they say, all is fair in Love & Basketball.

>>>>>>>Rahim walks in, while Jay is writing. Listens to the beat…starts boppin his head, then drops the following verse: <<<<<<<<<

You’re horrible, Dr. Jay, for breaking up with a girlfriend on Blackplanet. What about if she decided to not check her account for a few days?
Dr Jay’s ex (voicemail):  Jay, This is _____. I don’t understand why you haven’t been calling me, or coming to school all week. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?
Dr Jay (to himself):  She just doesn’t get it. I clearly sent her a blackplanet message. 
Ah, Who am I to talk, I didn’t break up with a girl face to face until college. When I was done with you in high school, I would have one of my home girls do it for me, or have them pick up the phone when you called me to ask you how you felt about not ever calling me again.  #Bawse.
Rahim’s ex: hello?
Rahim’s homegirl: yeah?
Rahim’s ex: hey, is Rahim there?
Rahim’s homegirl: yeah, but he said you guys aren’t going out anymore. Check your myspace.

Decisions…

Decisions, with respect to relationships are interesting.
This old lurky wise man once told me that men are like “monkey bars” to women. They hang onto the current one with one arm loose, with plans to swing to and hang on the next bar that gets them closer to their destination. This might translate to women as well, but i did say he was lurky, so he might have actually been talking about girls.
I digress.
Ultimately, people don’t have a problem with folks moving on, but they often have issues with:

How they did it:  “I got no advance notice…” “You cheated on me!” “I can’t believe you let my frat hit it!” etc.
Insecurities:  “I don’t think I’ll be able to get anyone or anything like this again…”
Investment: “I spent all my rent money on your handbag, heaux!” or “do you have any idea how many vaginas opportunities i missed out on being faithful to you?”
Lebron’s ex Dan Gilbert seemed to be angry on all accounts. Actually, he had plenty of notice so eff that.  Yes, he definitely doesn’t think he’ll be able to find another player like LeBron again. You think he woulda bitched over Leon Powe?  #NoDisrespect.  The Cavs have definitely invested a lot of time, money, etc into BronBron, but he’s given them plenty of handbags a great return.

So, um, scratch all of that. I don’t think either missed out on any vj in the past 7 years, unless it was by choice.  I’m not saying any names, Dan. You seem like the type that…

Anyway, in conclusion, everyone has to know their own worth, and be able to adapt to change. Everyone wants to win, so  they’ll go where they see the “W.” Relationships and friendships are an at-will agreements. People flip the bird and move on with or without notice #everydayB.

Share: