Hello, ladies. Are you the ‘wifey without a ring’? A pawn playing the
part of a queen? Until you’re married, you’re no more than a friend
with a title. Hence, the titles – girlFRIEND and BoyFRIEND. That means
whenever things get rocky, neither one of you are obligated to work it
out. After he’s left you flat broke and heartbroken, its on to a new
woman. So, allow for me to turn you from victim to victor. After
reading this, you can’t use the excuse – “I didn’t know any better”.

Woe to you, young lady. You’re complacent without a real commitment.
Content with being called ‘wifey’ and having your own side of the bed.
He’s controlling YOUR television, remote in hand – forcing you to
watch ESPN for hours on end. But, you’re just happy to spend time with
‘him’. Right? Wrong! You’re preparing mashed potatoes and steaks for a
situation only worthy of french fries and steak-ums. Instead of
celebrating relationship milestones, you felt closer to him when you
two stopped using condoms. Smarten up, lady. While you’re washing his
clothes, you’re hanging yourself out to dry. Don’t be a fool all of
your life.

Ask yourself this – why would he marry you, when you’re ALREADY
performing all of your wifely duties? Why buy the George Foreman grill
when he gets your fur-burger for free – and you prepare it for him
with all the toppings? Relationships are like economics, it works by
providing incentives. Us men need a REASON to move things to the next
level. “If you want to get with THIS, you’ve got to get with THAT.”

Right now, think of yourself as a rental car. If he can drive you
around for free, why would he pay installments on you to own? Like a
rental car, he isn’t going to invest too much into you. No one gets a
rental car and puts rims on it or new speakers installed.. The same
goes for you playing a role above your capacity. What he’s putting
into your relationship is no more than the equivalent of putting music
CDs into a rental car. When its time to turn that car back in,
everything he put into it – he can leave with it. Beautiful woman,
you’re worth more than that. Your time is to be BOUGHT, not BORROWED.

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

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Yes, you read the title correctly. We’ve all heard the saying, “you
can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”. But, I disagree with that statement. A wise man once said (R. Kelly), “if you can believe it –- you can achieve it.” I believe in you. More importantly, I believe in my advice to you.

First of all, we have to estimate their CURRENT level of hoeness. We
all have a past, so lets concentrate on the present. A great way to
figure out their current hoe level is by meeting their friends. Are
their friends sluts? Birds of a feather flock together. Don’t believe
that, “me and my friends are separate people” gibberish. The first
step into turning your hoe into a housewife is convincing her to find more positive friends. No woman walking barefoot in nightclubs is
worthy of being your companion.

Second, meet her family. What is her mother like? If her mother
listens to Waka Flocka instead of Luther Vandross –- this job may be
harder than we first thought. Does her mother offer you a glass of
sweet tea, or does she offer you a 40 ounce of Miller High Life? You
may need to tell her to cut off all communication with her mother
also. If she doesn’t, she isn’t serious about converting from her hoe
ways to the straight path.

Third, let her meet your friends. See how she interacts with them. The best way to do this is by secretly leaving a webcam recording the
activities of your living room. Invite one of your friends over, then
hit the shower. Review the footage later to assess whether she has
abandoned her hoe activities yet. If she happens to have approached
your friend, its still a winning situation. “It aint no fun if the
homies can’t have none!”

Finally, you must know what to expect of her. If your new housewife disappoints you by relapsing and doing something slutty – you must accept it and move on. Perhaps, you under-trained her. No one promoted beyond their capacity can expect to do a job the right way. Its never wise to love the one you first lusted. Besides, you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. I just made all this stuff up.

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

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Tyrese has turned into a fake ass Steve Harvey. When asked by Wendy Williams why men cheat, he responded:

“I don’t have all the answers, but I can say that most mothers raised their daughters to believe that if you cook, clean, thoroughly take care of your man and go all out for your man, that should keep him home. Unfortunately that’s not the truth, but I will say to my daughter when she gets old and starts dating is, if you end up being cheated on, don’t own the cheat. Don’t make the cheat yours. It’s something in that skirt and those legs and whatever the case may be, and [he] decided to dip off. Does he see the value in his woman at home? Yes, but if he ends up dipping off, that spaghetti couldn’t keep him at home.” (NecoleBitchie)

Tyrese, shut up. The only thing that spaghetti and box have in common in is that in most cases, they’re both edible, unlike that bullshit you’re feeding us. By the way Black Ty, you just pretty much just publicly told your wife that you are going to cheat on her. #Niceee

Excuse me, brother. Let me talk to you for a minute about your choice
of women. I know, seeing these half-naked harlots strolling through
town catches your attention. Then, you approach them and find out that they are easy to please. They want nothing more from you than some small talk, a chicken box and Arizona sweet tea. But, remember –
nothing worth having is easy to get. Furthermore, nothing easy to get
is worth having. She lures you in with her jezebel ways, then you find
yourself falling for her. That is a terrible mistake, my brother.

You find yourself in a relationship with this poor excuse of a woman,
only to find out her whorish ways didn’t die when your common sense
did. All of a sudden, her wardrobe full of short skirts and Chinese slippers isn’t appealing to you any more. In fact, its plain disrespectful to you now. You’re realizing that you have no more
exclusiveness to your woman than the next man on the street. A hoe is
a hoe is a hoe. She isn’t going to change for you. People only change
for one of two reasons- because they WANT to, or because they HAVE to. Remember that.

Stop chasing these scantily dressed women, yearning for attention from
any man willing to give it to them. Like I always say, women are like
apples. When you approach the tree, the apples easiest to reach are
the ones at the bottom. Most likely, they are rolling under the tree
with bites taken out of them. If you want a good apple, you’re going
to have to do some climbing.

Beautiful, modest, and respectable women – you are not forgotten. I
know the whores get all the attention these days. But, you are and
will always be the real commodity. Remember, just because you can’t
see the stars when the sun is out – doesn’t mean the stars stop
shining. Real women, get your shine on.

Nova Giovanni

(@NovaGiovanni)
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BY (@NovaGiovanni)

10 Reasons Why I’m Cheating On You by Nova Giovanni

1. You’re always accusing me of it. If I’m already getting treated
like I’m cheating on you– why not do it and prove you right? You
always think you’re right anyway.

2. When you met me, I was with another woman. This is karma at its
finest. What I’ll do WITH you, I’ll do TO you.

3. You don’t do the things you used to do. Before, you would cook at least 5 nights a week. Now, McDonalds knows what I’m going to ask for before I place my order.

4. You reject my advances in bed. My sexy female co-workers are
ALWAYS flirting with me. I don’t HAVE to come home to your rejection.

5. You’re slacking on your appearance. You were in shape when we
first got together. Now, you’re JUST a shape – a circle, to be exact.

6. You let our love life become your whole life and now depend on
me for everything. If you caught me cheating – then what? You’re not
going anywhere.

7. Sometimes, I just want to know that I’ve still got it. You never
compliment me. Knowing  I can conquer another woman really boosts my
ego.

8. Its so easy to do. You think I spend hours on Facebook checking
on my cousins’ lives? No! I’m waiting for Big Booty Judy to accept my
friend request.

9. I need variety in the bed. You never want to switch things up.
Its like pizza. I love pizza, but don’t want it EVERY night.

10. I’m a man. I REALLY don’t need a reason. The last 9 things were
just excuses.

Sorry, (that I got caught)

Nova Giovanni

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