If this is any indication of how the rest of Nick Cannon‘s show is going to be, I want no parts of it. I would throw my television set out the window.  This shit isn’t funny at all. Mad pity laughter from the audience! Anyway, he talks about how his grandfather calls Eminem “Enema” and how he would have shot him instead of beefing on Twitter. Next.

My bad if you still want to watch it, Mr. Showbiz comes on Saturday, May 14th at 9PM ET on Showtime.

Check out our favorite girl Ashley King rumble with Kori. How the hell does she still look good after a fight — even lumped up? Is that tiger blood dripping from her eye?

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You ever seen the So Kodak Commercial with Drake Trey Songz, and Pitbull texting each other?  “Show Me A Good Time” playing in the background.

written by Dr J, Rahim & Ness

You know what really gets to me?  Men and their text messaging malfeasance.  I know that a lot of people believe that they don’t want to talk on the phone anymore, but you gotta manage how much you be texting other men. It’s ok to text me for a piece of quick information.  Sometimes you need to know something without the need for a phone call, but if you texts are taking up more than 10 minutes, i’m uncomfortable.  I’ll be flat out honest with you, I look at some people’s text messages and wonder if I’m the last to get the memo that this guy is trying to holla.  Let me address this real quick:

1. Smiley faces are for women, if you are sending smiley faces in your textual communication you have issues.  I don’t care if it’s the BBM disinterested face or a mug of beer.  That’s all smiley faces to me.  If you are communicating with me, use your words.
2.       Also, don’t send me any open ended messages like you are just looking for someone to talk to.  If you send me a message that says, “Yo what’s good, I ain’t talk to you in a minute.”  I do not know how to respond.  I’m not going to respond, “Nothing much, what’s up with you.”
3.       And don’t send me any messages late at night asking me where I am or what I’m doing.  There’s nothing worse than getting a message from another man at 1AM saying, “Yo where you at?”  That’s only reserved for chicks who are trying to get a piece.  When you do that, I’m questioning why you lost tonight and are hitting me up for a contingency.
4. Do not picture message me anything.  This should go without saying, but I don’t care if you finally hit your target weight in a gym bunny movement, don’t send me any pictures.  You want to send me a picture of Rosa Acosta, email me directly and attach the picture or link.  When I get a notification that I’ve received a MMS from another dude, I just delete it.

Rahim:::

You know what? I got a broadcast message from a dude yesterday that said “send a bbm thumbs up or a thumbs down if you would cuff me or not.”
I sent him an awkward “lol,” because I just knowww that shit wasn’t meant for me.
Reminds me of those facebook applications I hated because people would just click send all, and I’d have dudes huggin my wall…bad party.

Don’t you ever f*cking touch me like that, even over the internet.

 
Oh, and don’t poke me either. Why do I even have to talk about this? cuz it happens.
My bad, were talking about texting, but facebook sends texts to my phone.  #Anywaydoe,
5. Don’t send me a separate text message with the correct spelling of a word you misspelled in the previous message. I still think your dumb even though you spelled it right.   
6. Don’t add any extra letters to your words. You know who you are.
“Heyy, call meee.”
7. Write Anything like…
“No problem homey I ma just get dressed real quick and head over,” or “Lemme call you back I’m in the bed right now,” Nah, stay where you are man– and don’t call me.

Ness::::

So many great points that I couldn’t have said better myself. Dudes gotta relax a bit with this whole feminine texting style. I try not to text my dudes unless I’m asking the general “Where you at?” question.
8. Man Law – Men do not ever text “k” or “kk” after you send them a text. I can’t help but look at my phone funny after that, I’ve ended plenty of conversations cuz of this.
9.  The Run On – I get these messages when one of my boys is going through some emotional problem. Don’t think you should be texting me about that bro, I don’t need messages that are so long that they run on the next text. If its really that serious just text me letting me know you need to holla at me and I’ll call you up when I’m free. “And then this chick tells me that he’s just her friend and I’m like well I’m not paying for his movie tick…..(next message)….et and where is his girl at? I’m a grown ass man dawg this is some bull…..” well you get the point. They always wanna give you the play by play when you didn’t ask.
10.  Text signatures – This goes for men and women. But it must have been the dumbest idea for text messaging. Grown men don’t have text signatures that say “- THE BAWSE”…..cmon my dude and what makes it worse is when they use numbers instead of letters. You have to read “All I Do Is WIN” under all of em.

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This is a CSI Style Interpretation of what happened regarding the murder of one of rap’s greats, Tupac Amaru Shakur. Full 20 minute episode.