No, BBM is not down. It's called "I deleted you."

Alice: R – Hey what’s up?
Alice: R – Why are you ignoring my BBMs
Alice: R – I know you are reading them!

That pesky R in BBM is the most stalkerish thing ever created.

BBM is the one thing that the iPhone has not been able to offer to its users.  The Droid doesn’t have it and neither does the Palm Pre.  It’s an exclusive chat room that enables its users to communication with one another limited to only those with Blackberry devices.  It runs on a server that is intended for company chat communications, but if you want you can opt out of that for the global network and communicate with everyone.  BBM even has these chat groups now where a group of friends can keep in touch all the time.  A group of guys use BBM chat groups to do research and share information when in the club, but most times it just becomes an offline twitter account.

But the thing about BBM is that it automatically sends read receipts to the recipient.  (For a minute they contemplated leaving an option to display when the user was on the phone, this was headed nowhere good.)  And so how does it feel when you know someone received your message, and elects not to respond to it. It is like, “You had enough time to read it, but not to reply to it.”

You crazy-ass-person.

Do you know why caller-ID was created?  Because sometimes you do not want to pick up the phone.  Let’s be real, just because you want to talk to me, doesn’t mean I want to talk to you. I just don’t think it’s a problem for me to say sometimes that I don’t want to talk.  Or sometimes, I don’t want to chat.  To me, BBM is like those people who walk into rooms and just start talking, regardless, of whether you are in the middle of discussion or not. Maybe it’s the Libra in me?

You know what else I hate about BBM? It saves conversations. Why is it saving my conversations? You ever walk in the crib and your girl is going through your phone?  Where they do that at?  You know Chris Brown had an experience with a woman going through his cell phone.  To me, I miss the days of the pay phone, where you had to grab some quarters before you left the house.  When you said, I’ll meet you at the movies at Union Station and you just had to be there or you was short.  I don’t need to be accessible 24 hours out the day. I know you took the time to send me a BBM, but I don’t have the time to answer.

And what about lonely people at home when you are in the presence of other people?  Those the ones I hate the most.  It’s not my fault you only got friend on BBM, I got friends in real life.  When I’m out and about on the weekend, I feel rude when I’m on my phone answering BBMs when I have people talking to me.  No no no, you know who I hate the absolute most?  Those repeat messagers.  They try and tell you a whole story meanwhile you aren’t responding.  Listen, if I don’t respond after the first two messages, know that you are buzzing on my hip over and over again and annoying the bat sh*t out of me.  I’m just venting…

But what I want to leave you with today is that my BBM is my business.  It is an application on my phone that I may or may not be paying attention to.  I was gracious enough to give you my pin, but it is not to be worn around your neck.  I could red dot you, but no one likes the red dot. (Except you nasty saggin jeans fools.  Stop running red lights!)  Nonetheless, I got your message, I will respond when I get to it, or I may not.  Every BBM doesn’t warrant a response, but every no-reply does not require an angry follow up.  To me it only convinces me that you are a crazy… deranged… woman.

For more writing from Dr Jay on this site, click here.

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