Posts Tagged ‘FUNNY’

The Secret Science To Spotting A Slut by Nova Giovanni

Written by admin. Posted in guest blogger

dirty whore 300x300 The Secret Science To Spotting A Slut by Nova Giovanni

 

Hello, loyal reader. Your favorite writer, Nova Giovanni, is back once
again with some ramen noodle soup for your soul. In this installment,
I will be instructing you on the signs of a slut. Therefore, you will
be empowered to deal with them based upon their capacities. Hence, a
slut’s capacity is only sexual. Promoting them to any level above that
is foolish and uncivilized.

With that being said, here are five indicators of her slutism:

1. If she kisses with her eyes open, she’s a slut! Don’t you see
why she does that? She is keeping her peepers peeled apart to be sure
not to miss the passing of another prospective sexual partner in her
peripheral.

2. If she keeps condoms in her purse – she’s a slut! Why would a
woman NEED contraception within arms reach like lip gloss? Because she
doesn’t PLAN her sexual encounters. When under the influence of
Boone’s Farm wine and dirt weed – she has no self control.

3. If her shoes are worn down – she’s a slut! Countless nights
taking the walk of shame (a morning stroll home in the previous
night’s clothes after a one night stand) has caused the coarse
concrete sidewalk to sand down her 6 inch heel to a 3 inch heel.

4. If her pubic hairs are shaved off during your first sexual
encounter with her – she’s a slut! Who or what is she trimming her vaj
for?! Would she shave her private parts unless she was ALREADY
sexually active at that PRESENT time? Well, would you drive with your
windshield wipers on if it wasn’t raining? Same answer applies!

5. If her friends are sluts – she’s a slut! Even if she isn’t –
she’s on her way! One bad apple spoils the bunch. Don’t let her tell
you, “I have no control over what my friends do.” Because she DOES
have control over who she makes friends WITH! A wise man once said,
“Birds of a feather flock together. Eagles don’t hang with chickens
because chickens don’t fly. Chickens eat their own shit & die.”

Now, brother – with this new information, the world is in the palm of
your hands. Well, maybe not the world – but you have more power
because of this knowledge. I’ve given it to you. What will you do with
it? Remember, you can lead a horse to water – but you can’t stop these
bald headed women from cutting their tails and wearing it on their
heads. Nova Knows…

I Love You… even you sluts,

Nova Giovanni
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Southpark Vs Tyler Perry

Written by admin. Posted in FUNNY, Uncategorized

Southpark Tells Tyler Perry to shut up. Pretty funny stuff.

NY Daily News:
On the episode, President Obama is shown at a podium addressing the U.S. just as he did late Sunday night. In his speech to the country, he reveals he would spend his final moments on Earth with loved ones “watching a Tyler Perry movie. I know it’s embarrassing. But I simply can’t help myself.”
But that’s not where the jokes about Perry ended.
As Obama continued, he wasn’t announcing the death of Bin Laden.
The villain in question was none other than Perry.
“I am pleased to announce that the greatest threat to mankind has now gone forever,” Obama announces to the country. “Justice has been done.”

 

southpark tyler perry Southpark Vs Tyler Perry