By @DrJayJack

Me and my boy have some of the most epic conversations ever about some of the most random topics ever.  One day we get on the topic of chicks sending naked pictures of themselves naked around and why it’s easier for chicks to do that and not for men to do that.  Comes down to this, I know most men right now have some pictures of a chick naked on his phone.  You won’t see those pictures unless he dies with his phone unlocked.  (Real Gs like myself have their phone encrypted with a password, and if you punch in the wrong one a few times, it erases everything.) Anyway, with women it’s a little different, if you send a picture of your loaf of bread to a chick, EXPECT it to be forwarded to all her friends.  They just can’t keep anything to themselves.

That got me to thinking about a few things, like how messed up is it to go through #tittytuesday and #thongthursday pictures on twitter while laying next to a shorty?  That depends on how those pictures make you feel.  Might be kind of hard to explain that tent you pitching when your girl just woke up and you’re holding your BlackBerry.  How harmless is my obsession with Rosa Acosta, Suelyn Medeiros and Laura Dore?  It’s gotten so bad that now I’m defending Rosa on Twitter to people like I knew her personally and we have all day chat sessions on BBM.  If you asked me, I’m in a full committed relationship with Rosa Acosta … in my mind.  And guess how I found that out?  I have Tweetdeck and I keep a feed of Rosa’s timeline up and one day I thought about doing the same for Suelyn and guess what?  I felt bad about that, and couldn’t bring myself to do it.  Now, this all leads me to this question, “If you’re dating a guy would you prefer that he have a virtual side piece or a legit side piece?”

Wait, think about that for a second.

Take another second to think about it.

A virtual side piece is absolutely and positively harmless.  She won’t get pregnant, she won’t give you an STD, and she won’t even flip out when you don’t pay her all that much attention.  There’s very little real commitment to the situation outside of a chat here and there, maybe a few pictures, if it gets that far, she might get the phone number, but chances are … she won’t.  And absolutely positively no man in the history of the male gender has left his main piece for his virtual side piece.  Not never.  Meanwhile, side pieces in the flesh are getting negroes #everydayb.

So why do women flip out about your virtual side piece?  Good question and easy answer.  It comes down to emotional infidelity.  The relationship is not physical at all, but the virtual side piece gets a piece of you.  Men are often accused of being horrible multi-taskers, but nothing can be further from the truth.  Men are very much capable of balancing a few pieces on the team and keeping them all satisfied with a part of him.  Most men have a girl they sleeping with, a girl they emotionally involved with, a girl they go to with questions about life and love, and then a few sisters that they have to just not be surrounded by men all the time. The conflict?  Your main girl wants 100% of you.  She doesn’t want a piece, deposit, payment, or anything less than 100%.

Now, hold up.  You know how they say, “aspirin is harmless, but if you take 13 it’ll be your last headache.” Well, yeah your virtual side pieces are harmless, but that don’t you can’t end up like Crocodile Hunter, done off because of some allegedly harmless tail.

(Anthony Weiner and Chris Lee should start taking notes now.)

1) Twitter – Many men have Plaxico’ed themselves by trying to send a Direct Message and it ends up on your entire TL.  All that to say, take your time with your DMs, I recommend using a third-party software like Tweetdeck to make sure you’re sending a DM.  No use in getting caught with a, “D @PurpleLilly81: She left, I’m getting on Skype now.”

2) Gmail – Uncheck that box that says always signed in on the login screen, go off the record with all chats and when you sign in, go to the bottom of the page where it says, “Last Account Activity” and ensure you are not signed in at any other locations.

3) BlackBerry Messenger – Go into your options and uncheck the box that says, “Save Conversations on Media Card.”

4) Text Messages – Delete text messages frequently, note that most text messaging platforms save MMS messages forever, so manually delete those too.

5) Phone Contacts and Gchat – Change your virtual side piece’s last name to yours and say it’s your cousin, or put Aunt in front of their name.

6) Pictures – Never put your face in any picture, and don’t post it anywhere public.  Most specifically Craigslist or Match.com.

7) Facebook and Twitter – Watch out for your mutual friends.  I know a dude who got caught up because one of his girl’s friends noticed he was tweeting a lot with some chick late at night and spilled the beans to his girl.

8) A Copy of the 4^th Amendment – Always have a copy around just so you know your rights in case you end up in a situation.  Most important thing you need to know, “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” (Basically, people can’t go through your ish without a warrant, and if they do, they can’t use it against you.)

#imdone

Hello, Brother. Aren’t you tired of chasing that hoe around and
inquiring to her every activity? What do you call yourself doing by
wifing up that hoe? Are you running some kind of hoe reform clinic?
Have you created some type of 12 step program at your hoe haven you
call a home?

I know she has some interesting reasons as to why she pursued a life
of hoedom. She most likely says her father wasn’t in her life and he’s
the reason she became a hoe. Think for a minute. How can somebody that
DOESN’T exist in your life push you to do ANYTHING? Hoe logic doesn’t
make sense to a sensible person. It doesn’t even make sense to a hoe.
Hoes don’t want to make sense, hoes just want to make lust to random
people.

But, what are YOU doing? You’ve fell into the hoe trap and now you
think you can change her ways. Face it, she can’t morph from a hoe
into a Queen. She’s a maggot, not a caterpillar. Therefore, she can
only become an annoying housefly – never a beautiful butterfly. She’s
not attracted to the beautiful flower-like things in life. She’s
attracted to shit.

Now, you’re wasting your valuable time trying to keep tabs on this hoe
because you can’t trust her moves. You can’t even take a peaceful nap
without jumping up and wondering who SHE may be napping with. Don’t
worry, brother -– hoes don’t take naps. Hoes don’t sleep, hoes creep.
That hoe is going to try to convince you she’s changing. She isn’t.
Hoes don’t even change their underwear. Most hoes don’t EVEN wear
panties. That hoe has you convinced that she’s going to Bible study,
but she throws that Bible under her seat like an illegal gun and
drives to the nightclub. In the club, she flashes her breasts for free
drinks and walks around barefoot, yelling loudly like the untrained
hyena she is.

You can’t change that hoe. So, you might as well EXCHANGE that hoe.
That’s right. Network with your friends and borrow each other’s hoes
like you did video games in middle school. Trade that hoe like Upper
Deck basketball cards. Share that hoe like a blunt. You might as well,
since everybody else in your circle is going to hit it anyway (think
about it). Nova Knows…

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni
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My friend MamaChell speaks on Love & Hip-Hop, relationships, and girls talking bad about their boyfriends — in the bed & out. Definitely worth the watch, and some sharp one-liners in there.

Fast forward to 5 Minutes and 43 seconds.

You: “So, how was that Trey concert baby?”
Your girl: “Oh, it was cool…“

If you hear that, stay off the net for about 2, 3 days…and keep your friends off the ‘net too.

Hello, ladies. Are you the ‘wifey without a ring’? A pawn playing the
part of a queen? Until you’re married, you’re no more than a friend
with a title. Hence, the titles – girlFRIEND and BoyFRIEND. That means
whenever things get rocky, neither one of you are obligated to work it
out. After he’s left you flat broke and heartbroken, its on to a new
woman. So, allow for me to turn you from victim to victor. After
reading this, you can’t use the excuse – “I didn’t know any better”.

Woe to you, young lady. You’re complacent without a real commitment.
Content with being called ‘wifey’ and having your own side of the bed.
He’s controlling YOUR television, remote in hand – forcing you to
watch ESPN for hours on end. But, you’re just happy to spend time with
‘him’. Right? Wrong! You’re preparing mashed potatoes and steaks for a
situation only worthy of french fries and steak-ums. Instead of
celebrating relationship milestones, you felt closer to him when you
two stopped using condoms. Smarten up, lady. While you’re washing his
clothes, you’re hanging yourself out to dry. Don’t be a fool all of
your life.

Ask yourself this – why would he marry you, when you’re ALREADY
performing all of your wifely duties? Why buy the George Foreman grill
when he gets your fur-burger for free – and you prepare it for him
with all the toppings? Relationships are like economics, it works by
providing incentives. Us men need a REASON to move things to the next
level. “If you want to get with THIS, you’ve got to get with THAT.”

Right now, think of yourself as a rental car. If he can drive you
around for free, why would he pay installments on you to own? Like a
rental car, he isn’t going to invest too much into you. No one gets a
rental car and puts rims on it or new speakers installed.. The same
goes for you playing a role above your capacity. What he’s putting
into your relationship is no more than the equivalent of putting music
CDs into a rental car. When its time to turn that car back in,
everything he put into it – he can leave with it. Beautiful woman,
you’re worth more than that. Your time is to be BOUGHT, not BORROWED.

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

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